Konoha Private Academy
by WhenSarahSmiles
Summary: In the richest part of Konoha, a young Tobi finally saves up enough money to attend the prestigious Konoha Private Academy to follow his music career. Not long after arriving, the school plunges into turmoil and it is up to Tobi to save the day with the - mostly coerced - help from his new companions. Rated T for language and themes. An alternate universe high school fic.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The characters from Naruto belong to Misashi Kishimoto.

 _Hello there! Konoha Private Academy is both the prequel to_ Rock Angel _and its own story so hopefully you can read it without having to read the other one first. One note I'll have to make is that Tobi in this universe is his own character (because he was written in in Rock Angel before we found out about Obito/Madara/etc). I hope you enjoy and please do review - I do love hearing from you!_

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Konoha Private Academy

Chapter 1

' _Konoha Private Academy: school and home to the world's smartest or most affluent students between the ages of eleven and twenty four. The academy caters to all levels of study from secondary education through college to university and sits on a campus of twenty acres of land._

 _As well as the academic building, the students can find a number of other facilities such as on-site accommodation, shops, a gym, running tracks, an Olympic size swimming pool, theatres, a restaurant run by the students and much, much more._

 _If you or your child would be interested in enrolling at Konoha Private Academy, fees start at only 90,000 Ryo per academic year, or you may apply for a scholarship._

 _For further details, please enquire on-site._

 _We hope to see you in the future,_

 _Headmaster Orochimaru._ _'_

oOo

In uptown Konoha, where the rich spend money on risky investments and the paparazzi skulk in the shadows, a moving van rolled up in front of the city's pride of academics, Konoha Private Academy. A person emerged, bouncing about like his excitement could not be contained, and stared up at the grand school. Almost crying with joy, the young teenager shouted,

"Tobi's finally made it!"

After this he stopped and looked about, hoping that someone would join in his celebrations but found himself disappointed. However, the spectacular arching doorway on the front of school opened wide to reveal a young looking girl with bright red hair.

"Are you the new arrival?" she shouted from a distance, fumbling about to find the correct sheet on her clipboard. However, the next moment she was quite literally kicked aside by a man much older than she, who Tobi thought resembled a snake too much for his liking so backed away to hide behind his luggage as it was unloaded.

"Karin, you naughty girl," said the man in a delicately soft voice, "that's no way to talk to a stranger, let alone someone who could be a student."

He slithered his way towards the van which caused Tobi to shake in fright when he caught a glimpse of the man's terrifying make-up. Or maybe those were his natural eyes? Either way, Tobi decided that his pink flowery suitcase had become far more interesting than the scary snake man and averted his gaze. He only looked up when a skeletal white hand was thrust into his vision and he had no choice but to face the gorgon. When he saw the face that came with the hand he had enough sense to wail in terror inside his head, realising that this man had some important standing at the academy and wailing in his face would probably get Tobi expelled before he had actually started.

Trying not to be rude, Tobi took the man's hand and shook it, hoping that the terror he felt had not crept onto his face.

"Hello. Tobi's name it Tobi. Tobi is happy to be here."

The man had to force his hand free, feeling that his arm was about to be jiggled from the socket. He looked at Tobi in a way one does when they are viewing a piece of abstract art and are trying to figure out what it's meant to be.

"The pleasure is all mine, Tobi…" he said in a drawn out voice, summing the boy up as he went, "are you feeling well? You look rather pale."

Tobi was not sure what the man meant until he reached forward and closed Tobi's mouth for him, which had fallen open in fright. Tobi jumped back, laughing giddily when he realised he could not remove the horrified expression from his face. He looked down at his suitcase and, unable to see the man, felt his expression relax. He gave a small sigh of relief then looked up but terror crawled back into his face, possibly even worse than before. He did not have to see his reflection to know that his eyes were as wide as saucers and his jaw was trembling. The man who had come to greet him was a walking nightmare. He knew he had to get away from him, and fast.

"My name's Orochimaru. I'm the headmaster, and I should be your first port-of-call should anything be troubling you, my dear boy. Do not hesitate to tell me anything."

At that moment, Tobi had enough sense to know that asking if Orochimaru would be willing to have a face transplant because his current face was too scary would give a very bad first impression so he kept his mouth shut. Or as shut as it could be when he could not stop trembling.

As much as Orochimaru was used to this sort of behaviour when the new pupils met him, Tobi was definitely having the worst time adjusting. The boy looked about ready to drop dead right in front of him. Realising the best course of action was to get the boy settled, he clicked his fingers and a few burly looking students came running through the academy's front door. As they approached, Orochimaru said,

"I realise joining during the middle of a term may be hard, but I'm sure you'll pick it up soon enough."

The students took Tobi's luggage between them and waited, poised to take action when Orochimaru ordered.

"The other students are on their lunch break so if you settle in fast enough, please make your way to the afternoon lesson." Tobi nodded rapidly, eager to learn but also eager to escape the devil's gaze. He had had a lot of questions for the headmaster, but now that he was in front of him any thoughts had been drowned out by the piercing glare of the man. Orochimaru clicked his fingers, sending the students on their way and they ran, carrying flowery, cute, sometimes boyish but mostly adorable luggage inside the school building. "Do enjoy your time here, dear Tobi, and don't be a stranger."

Tobi was only briefly relieved when Orochimaru turned and slithered back inside until he realised that he had no idea where his sleeping quarters were, or his lessons, or how to find anyone who could help him. He caught a glimpse of an arm holding his pink flowery suitcase in the air as they dashed into the distance so he shouted "wait for Tobi!" and disappeared inside the walls of Konoha Private Academy.

oOo

Tobi stood on one of the higher levels of the academy, waiting outside a door with the legion of students carrying his luggage. Apparently, whatever was behind the door was where he would be staying. He had been warned prior to arriving that he would be sharing with a roommate who, at this very moment in time, was ignoring Tobi's persistent knocking.

"Knock, knock! Your new roommate is here!" Tobi said in a cheerful voice, hammering his knuckles against the door a little louder, thinking that maybe his roommate was asleep. He did this for a few minutes more until he realised that perhaps the person was out for lunch. His whole body sagged woefully. This would have gone a lot smoother if Tobi had picked up his room key, but no, he had been too much of a coward to ask Headmaster Orochimaru for it.

As the other students around him began to wilt under the weight of his luggage, Tobi suddenly had the great idea of barging down the door. He was sure his roommate would understand and perhaps later he would even show Tobi where to get his own key.

Tobi began to hurl himself at the door, shoulder first, causing a loud cracking sound as he collided with the wood. The other students looked at one another, some amused and some concerned. It was on Tobi's third crash against the door that it suddenly opened from the inside and a boy stared out into the corridor angrily. Tobi, mid-charge for his fourth attempt at the door, had no time to notice him and instead hurled himself forward and collided heavily into the boy's stomach, sending both of them toppling to the floor. The other students, seeing that things were about to turn ugly, quickly decided to drop Tobi's luggage off then ran as fast as their feet would take them away.

Tobi was the first to pick himself up from the floor, dusting himself down, then when he realised just what had happened, his jaw dropped open and he began to wail loudly.

"Tobi's sorry! Tobi thought you were the door!" he held out a hand for the boy on the floor to take, though he was rather too dazed to notice it. "Tobi's name is Tobi. It's nice to meet you."

The boy only seemed to come around when he saw a hand wiggling in front of his face and, although he was annoyed that he had been lugged with a loud, childish idiot, he accepted the help. When he was up on his feet, the boy seemed to tower over Tobi in a way that an inch difference in height could do only when it was paired with a fair amount of anger.

"Where's your key?"

Tobi shook his head and clenched his eyes shut, deciding that everyone at the academy was far too terrifying to look at. He would keep his eyes closed forever, and was sure that he would get along just fine in his audio-only world. Not that he knew his way around yet, or knew practically anything about his classrooms, and he had not begun to realise how difficult it would make using the Bunsen burners in chemistry.

"Tobi didn't get one."

"Did you ask Orochimaru for one when he met you?"

When Tobi realised that the voice was now coming from a fair distance away, he cracked open an eyelid. The boy was sitting crossed-legged on one of the two large four-poster beds, leaning over a small Venus flytrap on his bedside table.

"No, Tobi was too scared."

The boy let out a loud laugh then broke into a genuine grin.

"Fair play then." He pointed to the door and, in particular, the freshly made crack in the wood. "To save my door, I'll go get your key once I'm done with Lady here," he pointed to the Venus flytrap then picked up a small black thing between his fingertips, dangling it over the plant like he was teasing it. Realising that Tobi had lost his attention, the brunette walked properly into the room, barging his way past his luggage, and looked around.

The room was fairly big with a soft cream carpet below foot and large oak panel walls that were coated with, presumably, his roommate's biology posters, notes, and towards the boy's bed there were more posters of wildlife and expensive looking cars and bikes. The room also held two wardrobes, a writing desk, two comfortable looking armchairs, the door to the en-suite and a couple of tall arching windows that, when Tobi skipped over to peer out of, overlooked a pair of running tracks in the middle of the school grounds.

Tobi looked back at his roommate, who was still feeding flies to his plant, and realised that – when he was not angry – he seemed like quite a calm, ordinary sort of guy. Genuinely happy that the only thing about him that seemed creepy was his head of spiky green hair, Tobi figured that perhaps he would be able to go about the school without having to blind himself. Though, on the other hand, he hoped he would avoid the headmaster as much as possible. That face was going to haunt his nightmares.

Just then, a loud bell began to ring out in the corridor which caused Tobi's roommate to finally leave his plant alone. He got up from the bed and pointed to the large mass of luggage on the floor.

"That'd better be gone when I get back."

As he walked to one of the wardrobes, pulling out a school bag, Tobi looked about frantically. He knew he had a lesson now, but he had no idea where, and no idea what lesson it was.

"Please help Tobi!" shouted the brunette, diving on the unsuspecting green-haired boy in desperation.

"What's your problem?!" he hissed, pushing his hand into Tobi's face. "Get off me!"

Tobi whined loudly, knowing after many years that this was the most effective way of getting what he wanted. "Tobi wants to go to lesson but Tobi doesn't know where to go!"

As the boy began to realise that he was not going to get out of Tobi's freakishly strong hold – no matter how much he pushed, shoved or tried to maim him – he relaxed and gave in.

"Have you got your timetable?" The vacant look that Tobi gave him caused a small vein to pulse on his forehead. "Right…." He said in a drawn out tone. "Grab a pen and some paper and I'll show you where to get one."

Taking him for his word, Tobi stopped screeching and let go, giving the boy time to readjust himself. "Thank you! Tobi's appreciates it."

Knowing fine well he had had no choice anyway, the boy just waved his hand. "No problem."

It took a few minutes of Tobi rummaging through his belongings to find a pen and a notebook, then the pair set off to find Tobi's timetable, leaving the room cluttered and piled high with the never-ending mess of luggage.

oOo

It turned out that Tobi's first lesson after lunch was music. There could not have been a better way for Tobi to start his studies at Konoha Private Academy. Music was his life. From an early age he had picked up a pair of drum sticks and beat his way through grades one to eight in just under a decade. Over the years he had played in a number of bands… though he had never stayed with one for too long. No one could stand Tobi for too long.

Arriving outside the right classroom, Tobi pushed the door open with a grin on his face, hoping it would be as magical as he had imaged in his head. A number of bored faces turned to look at him from the rows of lecture seats. This made his heart sink a little – he had been hoping for the kind of music lesson where people jammed together and had play-offs. Never the less, he took the closest seat to him and pulled out his notebook eagerly, looking up at the chalkboard. Little did he realise that the lesson had come to a halt the moment he had walked in.

"And you are…?" asked the bewildered teacher at the front of the room. Tobi paused, looked at the blond boy next to him, thinking the teacher was perhaps talking to him instead, but when he found that the blond was also looking at him with a confused expression, he gave a nervous laugh.

"Tobi's name is Tobi. Tobi started today."

A number of the students started to snicker but it seemed that Tobi was oblivious. The teacher on the other hand seemed far more relaxed when he heard this.

"Ah, so you're Tobi. Your name's on the register; it's nice to put a name to a face," he pointed to himself, grinning quite alarmingly, "My name's Mister Fuma, though everyone in here calls me Arashi. Take your pick, I don't mind."

Tobi give him a cheerful smile so the man tapped on the chalkboard, "We're looking at early classical influences on modern rock music. Do you have your book?" Tobi looked down at his notepad, ready to say yes, but then he noticed the heavy looking textbooks in front of the other students and shook his head sheepishly. "Don't worry, you can pick the textbook up in the school shop later. Deidara, will you share with him for today?"

Tobi turned to the person next to him, who was still staring back with a weirded out expression. Never taking his eyes from Tobi, the blond said, "yeah, yeah."

He slid the heavy book across the desk so that it was between the two of them, then when Arashi had started to write notes on the chalkboard again, he whispered,

"Why do you talk like that, yeah?"

Tobi gave him a puzzled look. "How does Tobi speak?"

The blond frowned at him. "Tobi says Tobi says."

"Tobi says what?" There was a brief pause where, unbeknown to Tobi, the blond weighed up the option of knocking him out to save him the headache, then Deidara decided it best to ignore him and started copying notes from the book. Tobi on the other hand never knew when to let things drop. "Tobi says what?"

"Nothing, yeah."

"Nothing yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah?"

Deidara shot a deathly glare towards Tobi which caused him to cower and turn to stare at the textbook, suddenly becoming far more engrossed in it. Deidara gave a small but triumphant smirk until he heard the whispered chanting from Tobi as he made notes.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah-yi-yeah yeah, yeah yeah…"

"Oi, cut it out, yeah."

Tobi, feeling he was being picked on for absolutely no reason, let out a loud wail. "But Tobi's not doing anything!"

Deidara sank into his seat when the majority of eyes fell on him. Arashi raised an eyebrow. "Is everything alright?"

Deidara nodded his head rapidly and Tobi gave a wide grin. Arashi watched the pair for a moment more, waiting for some sort of explosion, then turned to the class as a whole. "Finish copying the notes on page two-seven-four then we'll get on with the paired performances. Remember, you _will_ be graded on these."

Deidara's hand shot into the air, his face horrified. "But Sasori swapped subjects! I haven't got a partner, yeah!"

An eerie silence fell over the room as Arashi's eyes flickered to look at the person next to Deidara. No, Deidara could not look. He did not want to. He was hoping that by some miracle Tobi had moved seats and there was someone calm, quiet but with a great sense of rhythm sat next to him.

"Tobi, will you be his partner? We're only a couple of weeks into the project so you can start from scratch, can't you Deidara?"

"But sir—"

"We both know you've got the talent to do it. And you can show Tobi the ropes too."

Deidara watched in despair as Arashi scribbled in his register, knowing fine well that he had just drawn an arrow that pointed between his and Tobi's names. That meant it was final. If he had not been surrounded by his classmates and had some form of reputation to uphold, he would have burst into tears. Instead, he passed another glare to Tobi who, in contrast, was staring at him in awe.

"Tobi and Deidara get to perform together? What does Deidara play?"

" _I_ play guitar," mumbled Deidara, sulking about his predicament. He would be having words with Sasori later for leaving him to such a dreadful fate. Until then, he knew he had to suck it up and hope this Tobi person did not drag his grade below a Pass with Merit.

There was a sudden knock at the door; a very distinct rhythmic knock that caused everyone to sit upright in their seats, Deidara very much included. He even straightened his school tie. Tobi, the only one completely bewildered by everyone's actions, looked to the door curiously. Arashi called loudly, in quite a more strict-sounding voice than previously, "enter."

The door swung open slowly, but for the briefest moment no one seemed to be stood in the doorway. Then a skeletal white hand reached around the doorframe, followed by an arm dressed in black, followed by the serpent-like face of the Headmaster. As no one else dared to make eye contact with him, Orochimaru's eyes fell upon Tobi who unfortunately found himself pulling that same terrified expression from when they had first met.

"Ah, Tobi. I'm glad you are settling in so well, dear boy. I thought the top-set music class would be best, given your qualifications." Deidara eyed Tobi suspiciously, wondering what qualifications Orochimaru was referring to, only Orochimaru continued, this time turning to Arashi. "Mister Fuma, may I have a word with you outside?"

Arashi quickly straightened the paperwork on his desk then walked towards Orochimaru, following him out into the corridor. When the pair were gone and the door was closed, everyone relaxed. Deidara tried to question Tobi about his qualifications, only he decided it was best not to bother, noticing the contorted look of terror on the boy's face.

"He doesn't scare you that much, does he, yeah?"

"Y-y-yes…" Tobi managed to say before latching onto Deidara's arm for comfort. The blond made a half-bothered attempt to prise Tobi off, knowing it would only cause more moaning and crying, and he really did not want to have to deal with that if he had to spend the next hour in a confined space with him.

In an attempt to distract Tobi, Deidara asked, "what do you play then, yeah? If you're in top-set."

Tobi let go of Deidara so that he could puff his chest out proudly, forgetting his fright. "Grade eight drums."

Deidara's heart sank. A headache was imminent. Residing on this, he decided to jot down the last few notes and told Tobi to do the same so that they could get on with the project as soon as Arashi was back. On one of those very odd occasions, Tobi listened and did as he was told. He wanted to start playing some music.

A short while later Arashi reappeared looking upset. No one dared to ask what the matter was. No one needed to. If Orochimaru had to speak to a teacher in private it almost always meant bad news. However, knowing the entire class knew about this, Arashi quickly slapped a smile onto his face and told everyone to get on with their projects. So the class split off into pairs and disappeared into the various soundproof practice rooms – something that made Tobi giddy with excitement. Deidara begrudgingly took Tobi over to Practice Room F, one of the few equipped with a drum kit, then set to work scratching out all of the project notes he had made so far. Tobi, noticing, yelled.

"No, wait!" Pens, paper and drum sticks flew into the air as Tobi collided with Deidara, halting him from scribbling out a set of lyrics. "We can use them!"

"No we can't, yeah. My old partner was the singer. And keyboardist. You don't sing."

This caused Tobi a great deal of confusion. "Tobi does sing?"

Deidara raised an eyebrow. "You can?" Tobi nodded quickly to which Deidara gave a small smile. Well, he was feeling slightly better about his chances now. He passed the lyrics to Tobi then strummed the chords out on his guitar. "Have you got the tune?"

Tobi nodded vigorously. Deidara counted them in then began to play his guitar for Tobi to sing along to. However, as soon as Tobi began to sing, Deidara was only glad that the room was soundproof enough to save the other students from the atrocity. He let go of his guitar to clamp his hands over his ears before deciding it would be better to clamp his hands over Tobi's mouth instead. Now with a more muffled sound, Deidara had a chance to take the lyrics away. Tobi stopped singing abruptly, looking shocked.

Deidara said, "I thought you said you could sing, yeah?"

He pulled his hand away so Tobi said defiantly, crossing his hands over his chest with a scowl on his face, "Tobi can sing!"

"I meant sing _well_!"

"…Oh."

Well, at least he _knew_ he was bad. Deidara ran a hand up through his hair, sighing. "An instrumental it is then, yeah."

Tobi suddenly plucked the lyrics from the blond's hand then presented them to him as if it were his first time seeing them. "You can sing them."

Deidara frowned, snatching the paper from Tobi before crumpling it into a small ball. "No, yeah. I don't sing."

As if he had been listening in at the door, finding that one tiny gap in the door's woodwork where it was not soundproof, Arashi entered with a smile on his face, "How are you boys getting on?"

Tobi, never one to hold anything back, said, "Deidara won't sing but Deidara needs to sing or his partners lyrics will go to waste and he probably spent hours and hours and hours and hours and—" Tobi did not notice the vein appear on Deidara's forehead as he carried on talking about all this effort that Sasori had supposedly put in – all of two minutes, probably copying it from some blog, "—and hours and hours on it."

As he had been a student longer, Deidara assumed Arashi would take his side. Instead, he was greeted by folded arms and a frown from his teacher. "Why aren't you singing?"

Suddenly feeling like a mouse that was being trapped into a corner, he raised his arms up defensively and tried to laugh it off. "Sasori was the singer, sir, yeah. You know I can't."

Arashi wagged his finger dismissively. "You can't fool me. To reach grade eight in any instrument you have to take an oral exam at least once and pass."

Deidara passed Tobi another suspicious glance. He was pretty certain _he_ had not passed any oral exams. Before he had been given time to protest, Arashi put his foot down. "One of you has to sing. You won't get a high mark if it's instruments alone."

Deidara groaned loudly. Tobi cheered. "Yaaaaay! Deidara can sing~! Deidara can sing~! Deidara can—"

The boiling anger pot that was Deidara waited just long enough for Arashi to leave the room and shut the door behind him before pouncing on the unsuspecting Tobi.

"Deidara, no! DON'T HURT TOBI! _TOBI'S A GOOD BOY—AUGH!_ "

oOo

That evening Tobi returned to his room giddily and as happy as he had been in a long time – ignoring the large bruise from where Deidara had attacked him, of course. Now that he had his own key, he unlocked the door and stepped inside only to be greeted by the smell of pizza. Well, a room could smell of worse.

Tobi's roommate was sat cross-legged on his bed, a piece of pizza held over his head in the same way that Rafiki the baboon held a Simba over his, glancing sideways at his laptop. Tobi, feeling awkward for intruding on what was obviously a special moment between his roommate and the pizza, decided he would leave him to it, unpacking his luggage instead. However, when he had begun to shift the first suitcase towards the spare wardrobe, his roommate called,

"Didn't see you there. You're as quiet as a ninja!" Tobi looked back at him and noticed the majority of the slice of pizza dangling from his mouth. "How was your first day?"

As Tobi began to hang his clothes up in the wardrobe, he told him all about his day and how much fun he had had. However, as he finished his tale his stomach let out a rumble, suddenly reminding him that he had not eaten since his breakfast back at home. The boy on the bed laughed.

"Sounds like you had too much fun."

Tobi fell to the floor, clutching at his stomach dramatically. "Tobi can't go on. Tobi needs to eat! Tobi's wasting away."

He crawled across the floor, looking as pathetic as humanly possible, until he was between the two beds with his roommate looking down at him. Tobi reached up to him desperately, his eyes flickering to the pizza box then to the boy. Noticing, the boy cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh right," he said, amused. "So I drive off campus to go get myself a pizza and you're going to eat it for me?"

Tobi flopped over onto his back, "Tobi needs to eaaaaaat."

Knowing from this afternoon that arguing with Tobi was practically pointless, the boy at least decided he would have some good come of losing his pizza. He pointed to the large pile of suitcases, carrier bags and rucksacks that had been littering his room all day. "Move your shit, then I'll feed you."

Dropping the façade almost instantly, Tobi leapt up from the floor and hurled himself at his belongings. The boy on the bed smirked. Tobi seemed easy enough to handle as long as he had something Tobi wanted. He made a mental note to stock up on pizza. As he watched the brunette darting about the room, hurling clothes into the wardrobe, sticking posters on the walls, tucking teddy bears under the duvet – _TEDDY BEARS?!_ That was it, there would be no more visitors in this room. That, or perhaps he would just throw the bears out the window when Tobi was out – either way, as he watched Tobi tidying his stuff up, his laptop lit up as an email filled the screen. As he read through it, his face suddenly dropped.

"Tobi," he said, causing the brunette to pause mid-fling of clothing. "We're getting up early tomorrow. Orochimaru's called an assembly and says it's urgent."

Tobi crashed to the floor. Seeing the Headmaster three times in two days had not been on his to-do list. But, if it was urgent, he supposed he had no choice. Feeling that the only good thing happening in the near future was the pizza, Tobi fell into double-time and before he knew it, the whole horde was cleaned away. He crawled up onto his bed and returned to his weak, grovelling state. "Piiizzaaaaa."

The other boy chuckled and passed the box over, leaving Tobi to devour the remains. At the same time, he returned to his laptop which had just finished downloading a film. "Care to join me?"

Tobi, stuffing two pieces of pizza into his mouth at once, looked at him in surprise then nodded rapidly. The boy moved over so that Tobi could sit next to him, bringing the pizza box with him, then the two settled down to watch a film that would later give Tobi nightmares for months. Before that happened however, Tobi handed the pizza box back to his roommate. The green haired boy grinned and took a slice.

"The name's Zetsu, by the way."

Tobi grinned, settling down to rest his head on the pillow. "Tobi's name is Tobi."

The boy laughed. "Yeah, I know."

He leaned forward and pressed play, sealing any hope of Tobi having a good night's sleep away for weeks.

* * *

 _Stay tuned for chapter two! Hopefully I will have it out this time next week. Please leave me a review - I don't mind if it's flames and hate (or helpful criticism) but I would love to hear if you enjoyed it more._

 _Until next time,_

 _WhenSarahSmiles_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't anyone from Naruto

Extra Note: I am SO sorry. I don't know how long for this chapter was messed up, with all the weird coding everywhere. I can only apologise enough. I came to check a reference and saw this chapter was all messed up. Sorry for any inconvenience. I've sorted it now so please enjoy the rest of the story.

* * *

Chapter 2

Tobi had never quite imagined being in a room that was close to bursting, but when he made his way into the campus' theatre for assembly that morning, shuffling along with his face pressed into Zetsu's back, he was almost sure the walls were about to crack and explode. Every student and staff member from the academy was here – from the eleven year olds sitting at the front, swinging their legs back and forth, to the grumpy senior staff complaining that they should be given a seat at the back. Tobi and Zetsu shuffled to somewhere near the front where the majority of teenage students were slouching in their seats, looking rather bored.

As they sat down, someone on the row in front turned around with a shark-like grin on their face. Though, as if suddenly remembering he was meant to be moody, that grin turned into a grimace. "Zetsu. Long time, no see."

As Zetsu returned the glare, Tobi took a long hard stare at the boy. There was something about him that seemed a little odd, ignoring the generous amount of blue hair sprouting from his head. It was something about that grin. When he took a closer look, to his horror, he saw two rows of sharpened, jagged teeth.

"Hey, kid. Take a picture."

Tobi found the boy was eyeing him up, not too happy that he was staring. Instinctively, Tobi raised his hands. "Tobi's sorry. Tobi was wondering about your teeth."

The boy passed a glance of disbelief to Zetsu. "Is he new?"

"Showed up yesterday."

The boy gave Tobi a judgemental look then turned to face the front again, bored of talking to them. Tobi, well and truly disturbed, whispered to Zetsu, "who's he?"

"Kisame Hoshigaki. He's part of Deadly Swordsmen. They're a gang around here."

Tobi shuddered. "What about his teeth?"

Zetsu sneered. "It's the gang's identity badge."

Tobi poked at his teeth, trying to imagine what it would be like to saw them down into points. He felt a little sick at the thought. Fortunately, as a much welcomed distraction, he noticed someone getting into a seat at the other end of the row that he recognised.

"Deidara!" he yelled loudly, causing most of the students around him including Kisame to look at him. "Deidara! Deidara, it's Tobi!"

The blond at the other end of the row noticed Tobi, who had stood up and was waving frantically at him, and promptly sat down looking embarrassed and sank lower and lower into his seat. His redheaded friend passed an amused smirk to Tobi then sat down as well, trying his best to stop Deidara from sinking so low that he fell off his seat. Tobi, however, persisted. "Deidaraaaaaaaa, it's Tobi! _Deidara_ -!"

At that moment, which Deidara was so thankful for, the curtains rose at the front of the room to reveal Headmaster Orochimaru standing behind a podium on the stage. Tobi took one look at him and broke into a cold sweat, dropping just as low into his seat as Deidara. Zetsu could only roll his eyes, reaching down to pull him back up.

The room quickly stilled as all eyes fell onto Orochimaru so, not being one to waste time, he began his speech.

"I applaud you all for coming so quickly. Many of the teachers were told yesterday, but today I feel it only fair to tell you all as one." Orochimaru's face hardened, as if what he was about to say was hurting him, "I will be brief. As of next term, I am sorry to say, the academy will close."

This sent a ripple through the audience that quickly broke out in to protests. The students were not normally ones to speak in front of Orochimaru, but this was obviously an exception.

"That's bullshit," hollered Kisame, rising up to his feet. Others did the same, shouting and complaining. Orochimaru raised his hands to quiet them, though many ignored him. Anticipating their reaction, the two large monitors either side of the stage suddenly flickered into life, revealing a close up image of Orochimaru's face. Tobi, too frightened by that sight alone, covered his eyes and whimpered. He missed whatever happened next, but the room suddenly fell dead silent. When Tobi dared to look again, everyone was back in their seats, their faces as white as ghosts'. The monitors had been switched off again, and Orochimaru was saying,

"We are a privately run school, and a privately funded one. After many years, I can no longer sustain the high standards of the school; we are in essence bankrupt. Come next term, you will have to find new places of study." Although many of the students wanted to protest, they stopped themselves, too petrified to speak. "So while we are still together, please enjoy the high standard facilities, the courses and the excellent teaching because no matter where you end up, it will all be terrible in comparison."

With that obvious display of rubbing salt into the wound done, he took a gracious bow then the curtains lowered themselves to hide him from view. What followed next was quite literally an uproar. Students left, right and centre began to shout and complain, finding their voices that had briefly been quashed. Tobi seemed to be the only one who kept quiet. He sat in his seat, unmoving; Orochimaru's words having just sunken in. It was over. Many years of saving, scrimping, missing out on trips and toys because he had saved and saved and saved. He had finally made it to his dream school – the one that he knew could have pushed him to succeed – to reach new heights – it was gone. He had barely scratched the surface but it was crumbling away beneath him. But he had had a taste of it. One music lesson that had already caused him to fall in love with the place. He had no intention of parting with it, or at least not for many years when he was ready to graduate from the academy's university.

Students slowly began to trickle from the room, heading back to their dormitories as it was far too early for lessons to start. Tobi got to his feet when only a few people remained, Zetsu pushing him slightly to get him to move. The pair walked in silence back to their room but once they were inside, Tobi burst into loud, uncontrollable and ear splitting sobs. Zetsu had to dive to his bed for the pillows, squashing them over his ears to drown Tobi out.

"Why're you upset? You've only been here five minutes!"

Tobi managed to stop himself crying just long enough to say, "This is Tobi's new home. Tobi doesn't want to leave!"

"Unless you've got a secret stash of money hidden away, I don't think you've got a choice."

This made Tobi pause. He thought, thought harder, then tried to remember if he had left a small fortune under his mattress at any point in life, but when he realised he had not, he wailed again. Only the next moment he stopped and stood up tall before diving onto Zetsu in excitement. "Are there any rich students here?"

Zetsu had to think for a moment but when he realised who the richest student in the school was, he knew Tobi would be barking up the wrong tree. "Forget it, he won't hand the money over. He's stinking rich but I doubt you'll be able to persuade him."

"Who? _Who?_ " Tobi said eagerly, pushing his face closer and closer to Zetsu's. Zetsu was trapped, he knew it, his headboard blocking the escape.

oOo

It was twenty minutes later when, after Zetsu had told Tobi who to get in contact with and after he had drawn him a map, Tobi wandered through the upper-school, trying to find this so-called richy rich student. Along the way he passed many groups of people chatting and dived straight into the middle of them, hoping to find his target. When he screamed the name, he was either pointed in the right direction, laughed at or given a swift punch upside the head for being downright weird. Eventually, and only after a few misunderstandings, Tobi came to a door with a weird symbol on it. It was red and white, that was for sure, but he could not decide whether it was a mushroom, a lollypop, a ping-pong racket, a pokeball with a weird bit dangling from the bottom, or maybe a paper fan. Whatever it was, it was the symbol Tobi had been told to look for so he knocked on the door and waited. Instead of having someone greet him, he heard a deep voice call from inside the room.

"Enter."

Tobi began to understand why Zetsu had been sceptical. Whoever this person was, he seemed far too proud already. Tobi pushed open the door and peeped his head inside. The curtains were drawn and the main lights were off, however there was a small lamp lit on the desk in the far corner of the room, where someone was writing vigorously. When they did not look up from their work, Tobi cleared his throat.

"H-hello, Itachi. Tobi is Tobi. It's nice to meet you."

The pen in his hand stopped moving. He looked up and for a split second Tobi had to take a step back, thinking that the eyes that were looking at him were a deadly shade of red, though when he looked again he realised he must have imagined it. Itachi, much like a business man inviting someone in for a job interview, raised his hand to Tobi then directed it towards an armchair that was close to him.

"Come in."

Tobi shuffled inside and shut the door behind him, sending most of the room into complete darkness. The brunette was happy to scamper over to where the light was, even if he did feel slightly awkward. He sat in the armchair and Itachi went back to his writing for a moment, occasionally using a hand to trace a line from the textbook next to him. Tobi watched patiently, then slightly less patiently, then he began to twitch, then fidget, then change positions in the chair to try and make himself more comfortable, then he huffed, then he sighed until finally Itachi put down his pen and directed his attention to him, apparently completely unaware of the boy's boredom.

"How can I help you?"

"Well…" Tobi said, looking at Itachi in the light. His face seemed a lot more haggard than most he had met at the school, seeming a lot wiser and more experienced than any boy of his age. "Tobi was wondering…" he looked down at his fingers, twiddling his thumbs, "with the school going bankrupt… Tobi wonders—"

"No."

Tobi looked up again, wide eyed. "What?"

"I won't bail the school out." Itachi looked tired or bored. Tobi clenched his hands on the armrests but realised that whining and wailing like he did with so many others would not work on Itachi.

"But why?"

Itachi leaned over to his file-organiser and pulled out a clean sheet of paper before picking up a pen again. Tobi watched him jot down lots of numbers and as he did so, he said, "It's illogical. A lump sum won't save the academy in the long run. If I pulled the academy from bankruptcy, in five years we would be back to this point or even worse." He noticed Tobi looking confused.

"It's the academy's high-end equipment. Orochimaru has been updating everything as the newer models or systems are released, and it's costing him more and more."

Tobi's jaw fell open. They were going to be kicked from school because of Headmaster Orochimaru's bad spending habits. Although, he had to admit, after spending time in that fully-equipped soundproof practice room yesterday, he had to agree that there had been some good purchases. Even so…

"Sell it all and get the money back!"

Itachi paused in his writing just long enough to give Tobi a hard stare, trying to sum him up. "How long have you been at this academy?"

Almost ashamedly, Tobi raised one lonely finger. "A day."

Tobi witnesses the rarest thing. Itachi let out a loud, surprised laugh that almost knocked the wind out of him. When he realised what he had done, he cleared his throat and ran a hand though his sleek raven coloured hair.

"Then I suppose that's why you'd make such a silly suggestion." Tobi gave him a clueless look. "Orochimaru prides himself of the high quality of this school. He would much rather close it than lower the standards and have its name dragged through the mud."

Tobi could see Orochimaru's point, though at the same time, a technologically challenged school would be better than none at all. Trying one last time to plead his case, Tobi said, "Could Itachi just bail the school out until Itachi leaves? When does Itachi leave?"

He was rather hoping that Itachi would at least be staying as long as Tobi. They looked roughly the same age, even if Itachi had tired lines under his eyes that made him look an adult.

The raven haired boy shook his head. "It would drain my family's fortune and send us into debt."

Still refusing to give up, Tobi pressed on. "But could Itachi ask his parents really nicely if they'll give him the money?"

A silence fell over the room. Itachi stayed quiet. Tobi felt he had said something wrong, but had no idea what, watching Itachi's eyes drop lower than his pen to his feet. After a moment, though, he seemed to catch himself and shook it off.

"No. That won't be necessary. They aren't… around to manage our money now so I take care of it." This made Tobi noticeably hopeful again. "But as I say, it's illogical and you would be better trying to find a long term plan. I can't help you."

With this said, Itachi set aside the sheet of numbers and returned to his work from earlier, leaving Tobi to sit there until he decided to get up and leave. He felt a little down that the trip had been a waste of time, but he supposed it put him in the right direction. Tobi left the room in slightly higher spirits, but as he was shutting the door a tall shadow fell over him. Tobi turned and had to look higher into the air than he had ever done. The first thing he saw was a set of pointed teeth followed by a mass of blue hair that defied gravity and put an extra foot of height onto who he realised to be Kisame Hoshigaki.

"Take a picture, kid."

Tobi realised he was staring and lowered his gaze, dashing out of Kisame's way. As Kisame opened the door, Tobi wondered what he wanted with Itachi, until the blue haired boy flicked on the light and said in a cheerful voice,

"Oi, 'tachi, why are you in the dark again? Stop being all mystic and gloomy and come and look at this." The door closed and Tobi stared for a moment before heading off to his room to think of a plan. What a weird duo though. Maybe Kisame was the reason Itachi had looked so tired. Tobi would never get to sleep if he shared a room with some scary gang member.

As he thought this to himself a door farther along the corridor swung open and a large group of students poured from it. This alone was completely normal, the room they had come from was a common room. However, the group that had left were all wearing a similar jacket which he saw, as he drew closer, had a yin-yang sign stitched onto the back of it. Tobi stopped. It was the gang - Kisame's gang - he knew it. Though, thinking back to what he had just seen, Kisame had not been wearing the same thing. Tobi shuffled a little closer to the horde of students, trying to see if any of them had the same pointed teeth but they all looked fairly normal.

Realising it must be a different gang, Tobi tried to shuffle past them without getting noticed. However, when he was alongside them someone from the middle of the group shouted a cheery, "Tobi!"

The brunette looked startled, pinning himself to the wall, expecting a kunai to come hurtling towards him. Instead, the group parted to reveal Zetsu wearing the same jacket as the others. He continued, "How did it go with Itachi?"

Tobi's mouth fell open. He either had to take back what he had thought about sharing a bedroom with a gang member or _actually_ start sleeping with one eye open. But Zetsu seemed normal, even with the green hair, and the Venus flytrap fetish, and the weird appreciation of pizza. Okay… Zetsu was anything but normal. But he seemed pretty nice.

"Itachi said no," Tobi said with a pout. Zetsu shrugged, hardly seeming surprised.

"It was a long shot. Are you going to try anything else?"

Tobi nodded. "Tobi's got to think of a long term plan."

"Long term plan?" Zetsu chuckled. "Good luck. Hell, don't go getting any bright ideas. You might want to ask the Headmaster if he's got any plans."

Tobi shuddered. He would rather not visit the Headmaster. Though, the more he thought about it, the more he realised that he would have to. He had to at least inform Orochimaru that he was going to save the school just to stop the snake-man worrying. Although he had a terrifying face, Tobi was sure deep down he was a nice man who just needed a bit of love and reassurance.

"Tobi will go see Orochimaru."

Zetsu saw the look of determination on his roommate's face and chuckled. "Good luck. Let me know how you get on."

Tobi nodded again. He gave a little wave and started to walk away. After feeling the eyes of Zetsu's gang members following him, he picked up speed and ran off, trying to find the closest staircase.

oOo

The meeting with Orochimaru started just the way Tobi had expected it to: terribly. Tobi had prepared such a wonderful speech about money, love, heroism and a bank robbery, but as soon as his eyes had fallen on Orochimaru's face he had started to shiver uncontrollably, his jaw dropping open and his eyes dribbling with tears.

As it was not the first, nor the second time Tobi had seen Orochimaru, the Headmaster had expected him to have gotten over his appearance by now. Tobi's constant 'I've seen a ghost' face was starting to annoy him. Never the less, when Tobi took the seat on the other side of the desk, he asked,

"And what have you come to see me about, dear boy?"

Tobi knew there were far more important matters than his ever-growing fear of snakes and all things similar, so he took a deep breath and said, turning his eyes to stare down at his school pants,

"Tobi wants to help save the school."

He missed the wide smirk that spread out onto Orochimaru's lips, but he heard it when he spoke.

"And how do you plan to do that? I'm all ears."

It was here that Tobi completely forgot his heroic speech and decided to free-style. "A bake sale!"

Orochimaru almost choked on his spit. "Excuse me?"

Well, Tobi had destroyed any credibility he had. He might as well try to salvage something from the wreckage. "What if Tobi fundraises? Would that save the school?"

Realising the boy had no clue what he was talking about, but knowing that his heart was in the right place, Orochimaru's smirk fell into what most would call the thing of nightmares, but Orochimaru himself called a genuine smile.

"It would take quite a lot of fundraising to keep us afloat. I dare say one person cannot do it alone."

Tobi was not disheartened. It actually spurred him on and he even glanced up to look Orochimaru in the eye to show him how sincere he was – though regretted it seconds later and looked down again, feeling the bile coming up his throat.

"Tobi will get others to help. He's sure no one else wants the academy to close."

Orochimaru leaned forward, his elbows on the desk and his fingers laced together. "I'll tell you what, dear Tobi. If you, and any others that help you, find a way to save my academy, you will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams. I can promise you that."

Tobi's puffed his chest out as Orochimaru bestowed the responsibility on him. Though, Orochimaru, feeling it was rather strange for someone who had been in his school a day to want to save it so much, asked, "Why, though? Why not just quit and move to the public school?"

Tobi shook his head. "Tobi wants to stay. When Tobi was little and didn't have any friends he met someone who studied here. He played music and sang and everyone loved him and he told Tobi to think big and don't worry what anyone else thinks. Tobi thought big and now he's here, making friends and starting a new chapter. So Tobi can't let the academy close now. Tobi can't."

Intrigued, Orochimaru asked, "and who was that person?"

"Yahiko."

"Ah," he replied. Yahiko was the birth-name of the world-famous singer-turned-producer Pein. He had topped the charts with four separate hits, earning a platinum record with two of them. And yes, Pein was Konoha Private Academy's claim to fame. He had walked the halls just like his current students did, though once Yahiko had left the academy he had never looked back, climbing higher and higher to fortune and fame. He was running his own record label now. Well, Orochimaru had to admit, Tobi had picked a good role-model. "Well then for your sake and mine, I do hope you succeed. If you do manage to come up with anything, do come back and tell me."

On cue, the morning bell rang, giving Tobi the permission he needed to hightail it out of there. Though not before agreeing to keep Orochimaru up-to-date. He decided then and there that it would be by email. Not only was it terrifying to see Orochimaru, it was beginning to get embarrassing that he could not keep his face in check when he saw him.

Tobi shook Orochimaru's hand, his eyes glued to the floor, then ran from the room and checked his timetable. Chemistry. Brilliant!

oOo

To Tobi's utmost joy, when he finally found the right room and walked into the laboratory he noticed someone familiar sitting at the back of the room, past the sea of unfamiliar faces. He threw his hands in the air and began to wave, just as he had done that morning.

"Deidara! Deidara, hi. Deidara!"

The blond's jaw dropped open. He tried to hide himself behind the stack of test tubes with brightly coloured powder in them, swearing under his breath. Not only had he been told his school was shutting down but now he had to endure two of his five lessons with that idiot. It was hard to decide which was worse.

Seeing an empty place next to his new friend, Tobi ran over. Deidara instinctively put his hand on the stool next to him to shield it.

"Can Tobi sit with you?"

Deidara looked around quickly, trying to spot anyone who could save him. "I uhh… no, yeah. Sorry."

Tobi stopped dead, trying to make sense of his reply. At the same moment, someone appeared behind him and put their hand on his shoulder. Tobi looked round with a grin on his face, only he realised the person's attention was directed at Deidara.

"I said I would be five minutes. You could have saved my seat."

Deidara stared down at his hand, which had latched onto the spare stool with white-knuckled force, and wondered if it was invisible. "I did, yeah!"

The person glanced at Tobi, passing him a bored look before turning back to Deidara. "Are you sure?"

"Just sit down, Sasori," Deidara said moodily, taking his hand off the stool. Tobi had to battle with himself pretty quickly to decide if he should slip into the seat before the redheaded newcomer had the chance to but decided against it. The grip on his shoulder seemed to promise a world of pain should he piss the boy off.

Sasori took the seat then Deidara gave a smug look to Tobi. "Sorry. It's taken."

Tobi frowned, wanting to whine, but he seemed to get the same feeling from Sasori that he had done from Itachi – he would not get his way with either of them. He left the pair, missing Deidara's happy fist pump, and took a seat at the front of the class, leaving a space beside him. He decided that whoever took the seat would become his new friend, and they had no say in it. So far his first friend had turned out to be in a gang, and it looked like he had competition for Deidara's attention, so if he found himself a few more friends then he was sure he would fine a normal one.

As more students filtered into the classroom Tobi watched them hopefully but they drifted to other workbenches in groups. However, he noticed that a few of them pointed him out to their friends when they noticed him and whispered. Not having the mind to question it, Tobi sat patiently. While he was waiting, the teacher appeared from the storage room at the front of the class. He was a tall man with green hair that flowed down to his shoulders, though more oddly, he had a large scar right in the centre of his forehead.

The man's eyes locked onto Tobi, being so stupid as to sit at the front of the class, and said, "You're the new kid, I presume?" Tobi nodded. "I guess it sucks to be you then. You're here five minutes and you've already been told to leave. Well, while you're still here, call my Aoi."

He walked to the front of the classroom and spread his arms wide to address the students, letting those that were running late find a seat. "It's sad that we're closing so I thought today we'd do some fun experiments to cheer us up. Any objections?"

Though he said it with a smile, the students knew better than to object. Not that they wanted to; their last lesson had been spent memorising the transition metals from the periodic table.

"In front of you, you'll see—… oh, nice of you to join us today Kakuzu. What's the occasion?"

A boy had just walked in with a briefcase over one shoulder. He glared at the teacher then made his way across the room to where Tobi was sitting. Tobi smiled at him, though as he approached it fell away, down into a shocked expression. Every visible inch of him was covered in some sort of stitching as if he had been in a car accident and someone had had to put him back together. Maybe trying to make friends with him would not be the best idea. Though, when did Tobi ever think sensibly?

"Hi, Tobi's name is Tobi!"

The boy stopped in front of Tobi's stool and stared at it. Not at Tobi - the stool. Everyone who had pointed at Tobi before watched in anticipation. However, much to everyone's surprise, Kakuzu did not hurl Tobi out the window for sitting in his seat and sat down on the stool next to him instead. It was quite the anti-climax.

"Hello…?"

Kakuzu opened his briefcase and pulled out some sheets of paper, ignoring Tobi completely. On the other hand, a low flying marker pen suddenly hit Tobi in the head. He looked about, startled, only to see the teacher glaring down on him.

"I don't care if you're new, kid. No talking when I'm talking."

He mumbled an apology, rubbing at the spot where he had been hit. As Aoi returned to explaining what the students needed to do, Tobi passed a glance to Kakuzu. He had started to write numbers down, completely ignoring what was being said. Well, Tobi had said he would make friends with whoever sat in that chair. He would not give up so quickly… even if Kakuzu scared Tobi like crazy. Why were their so many strange people at this academy?

So, for the rest of the lesson Tobi tried his very best to get Kakuzu to talk to him. Or at least look at him. Or acknowledge him in any way. When this failed he tried to intrigue him with the science experiments. Firstly he put a CD in the microwave they had been given, poking Kakuzu to try and get him to look, and made 'ooo' and 'ahhhh' sounds as the CD glowed before it fizzled and a bright light span through it like a Catherine wheel. When this had no effect, Tobi decided to try the burning magnesium under water trick.

As he set it up, he glanced down at the numbers Kakuzu was jotting down. He frowned, trying to remember where he had seen those exact figures before, because they seemed familiar. As Tobi loaded the magnesium strip into the test tube, he suddenly realised. They were the same numbers Itachi had been writing down as he had worked out the academy's debt. Tobi's face lit up. Perhaps he was not the only person on a quest to save the academy!

Only, as Tobi leaned in close to ask if they wanted to partner up, there came possibly the loudest – definitely the hottest and most surprising – explosion from the back of the classroom. Everyone had to duck as shards of the plastic water tank shot across the room and a cloud of heat billowed up into the air, water spilling onto the desk with flames spewing upwards and outwards. Deidara hollered happily, still holding the test tube that had caused the explosion. People started to scream as the fire alarm set off and the sprinklers turned on, only making the flames worse, and Deidara realised that maybe he had gone a bit overboard. His manic laughter turned to panic when the tips of his hair caught fire and he turned to Sasori to save him. Sasori, on the other hand, shook his head in dismay and walked away as everyone else ran from the room, shrieking. Tobi was amongst them, his arms flapping about over his head, barging into anyone who was on his escape path. They tumbled to the floor, knocking anyone else close enough to the floor with them, causing a catastrophic game of human dominos. Aoi, watching the scene from behind his desk, his hair becoming slick against his face as the sprinklers continued to spurt water out, doing nothing to stop the fire, pinched his fingers on the bridge of his nose then shouted for everyone to go to the assembly point, knowing fine well that no one was listening.

He waited for the majority of students to leave before he walked to the back of the classroom, grabbed Deidara by the back of his shirt and dragged him away as the poor boy continued to flap and scream that his hair was on fire.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The characters from Naruto belong to Misashi Kishimoto, not me (even if I claim I've got half of them kidnapped in my wardrobe).

* * *

Chapter 3

When Tobi arrived at his athletics lesson that afternoon, after the fire fighters had been and the blaze had been put out, he was rather surprised to find he could still smell burning though he was at the other side of the campus. It was not the same smell that had been in the classroom – it was more like burnt popcorn. Though, when he walked into the boy's changing room he was quick to find the source of the smell. Deidara, wearing nothing but his athletics shorts, was sitting on the bench with his fringe decidedly shorter than before with the ends singed a lovely mix of oranges, browns and blacks.

Tobi waved to him but as usual he was ignored. Though, for the first time Deidara did not ignore him on purpose. He was too busy glaring at the boy with silver hair who had just tugged at his fringe.

"You fucking dick, Deidara. I lost my free-period because you set the alarm off. I ought to smash your girly-arse face in."

The boy raised his hand into a fist and drew it back, only Tobi – ever the good boy – dove in the way to save his friend from what was obviously going to be a world of pain. However, as he ran forward, he tripped over a forgotten gym bag and slid headfirst into the wall between the pair. Both boys blinked, rather shocked and disturbed by the newcomer, then when Deidara realised who it was, he wished he had been punched in the face.

"Tobi, yeah…" He said, his eye twitching agitatedly. "What are you doing?"

The other boy managed to mumble a shocked 'you know this guy?' before Tobi peeled himself from the wall and repositioned himself to block any incoming attacks.

"Tobi will save you!" he said, spreading his arms wide like a barrier to protect Deidara. The blond had to stop himself from smashing his head against the wall.

"I don't need saving, yeah."

Tobi kept a questioning eye on the boy with silver hair. Not that Tobi was often one to judge on appearances but he found it rather hard to trust anyone with maroon eyes that seemed quite so bloodthirsty.

"But he was going to hit you!"

At this, the silver haired boy piped up, gritting his teeth at Tobi in a way that seemed to mean he thought Tobi was intruding in his personal life.

"Fuck off."

The boy raised his fist again, his aim locked firmly on the brunette's face, only Deidara decided to intervene. He was quite sure no one else was aware of Tobi's freakish strength. "Don't bother, Hidan. He's not worth it."

The boy faltered. "Not worth it?" he glared at Tobi. "It's fucking worth it. I was only going to rough your hair up, you prick. This shit doesn't need to be here."

It soon became apparent to Tobi that picking a fight with Hidan, or even attempting to stop any fight Hidan wanted to get into was a bad idea. He was definitely the most hot-headed boy he had ever met and seemed willing to brawl over anything. Tobi suddenly dived behind Deidara and used him as a shield.

"Tobi's sorry, Deidara. Tobi doesn't want to die! Save Tobi!"

Not that it was particularly a bad thing that Deidara had been put in the middle; Hidan was too much his friend to actually beat him into a bloody pulp, but he felt that was not the point. Deidara glared at Tobi for abandoning him.

Just then, as Deidara rounded on Tobi and Hidan gleefully joined in, the door to the changing room swung open and the teacher walked in, staring down at the clipboard of names. Tobi, unaware that he had just been saved from all sorts of unspeakable pain, dropped his gym bag on the bench and began to get changed as Deidara finished getting dressed and the teacher spoke up.

"Cross country."

Two words that had never made a teacher more hated in the world. The room rippled with a unified groan but, used to it after many years of teaching lazy students who had no motivation to be healthy, the teacher ignored it. He was another man with green hair, though it was so long that Tobi decided he looked more like a bald man being attacked and eaten head first by a fir tree. He was also a very heavily built man that, Tobi was sure, could launch a student across the javelin pitch should they attempt to get out of cross country in any way.

"Three laps of the footpath across the football pitch, through the woods, up the hill past the swimming centre, then back round to the gym. Anyone who takes longer than twenty minutes will be made to do the whole thing again."

Tobi glanced about once his athletics shirt was down past his face, trying to decide who would be most likely out of everyone to take longer than twenty minutes. There was a roundish boy with ginger hair that might have some trouble, but most seemed fit if not super fit. Both Deidara and Hidan had muscles built into them like they had been training at the gym since they were born. They would have no problem.

When they were ready, the boys filed from the changing rooms to join the girls outside who were looking equally as thrilled to be doing Cross Country. Tobi made his way out just behind Deidara and Hidan with Hidan still poking fun at the blond's mishap in the chemistry lab. Only, when they came close enough to the girls in their athletics uniforms, Hidan instantly forgot his friend, the teacher or any of the male students and made a great display of what he later tried to pass of as stretching when in fact he took one hand and lifted up his shirt to show off his well contoured abs, winking as he did so. This caused a great number of reactions from the girls, ranging from anything like blushing to swooning, or from the odd one or two who did not appreciate his narcissistic display, shouting for him to put it away.

"You know you love it," he said, pulling his shirt down before the teacher had a chance to see what he was doing. He turned to Deidara. "They love it."

Deidara sighed, grabbing Hidan by the shirt before pulling him into the throng of boys to give the girls some peace. Tobi did not follow them. He was watching as one girl, who had turned a brilliant shade of red and collapsed, got back to her feet with the help of her friend. He was not quite sure what had just happened. Why had all the girls turned to goo because Hidan had lifted up his shirt? Experimentally, as Tobi was not a person who understood the human libido nor was anyone sure he actually had one, he turned towards the group of girls and lifted his shirt up. As he had not made a flashy show of it the girls, at first, looked at him a little oddly. Then some noticed what he was showing, paired up with the innocent, curious look on his face and they melted into an even greater gooey mess than they had done with Hidan. Even the ones who had yelled at the silver haired boy made no attempt to stop Tobi. Their reactions confused him entirely and he pulled his shirt down again before a couple of the girls made their way over and one linked her arm with his.

"Where do you work out? You look great."

This confused him as he did not go to a gym. Little did he know that his constant hyperactivity, running everywhere, throwing himself about and generally never sitting still had given him quite the body to swoon over. Never the less, he gave the girls a cheerful smile and said,

"Tobi's name is Tobi. Hello!"

The girls giggled to each other then the one hanging off his arm said, "So are you new here, Tobi? I've never seen you before."

Tobi, thrilled that he seemed to have two new friends, decided that lifting his shirt up had been a very good idea and he should do it more often. For now though, he laced his arm tighter with the girl's, only as he went to speak, the teacher hollered for everyone to shut up then began to read off names to put them into staggered starts. It was then that Tobi noticed Hidan glaring at him with his arms outstretched as if he wanted a hug, or that was how Tobi saw it at least. Deidara was holding onto the boy's shirt to stop him strangling Tobi for stealing his lime-light with the ladies.

"Itachi, Hidan, Jirobo, Tayuya," hollered the teacher. "You're next."

The girl clinging to Tobi let out a loud sigh then looked up at him with a pout. "I've got to go. I'll wait for you at the finish line." She gave him a wink. "Or you can wait for me, handsome."

She jogged over to where the others were lining up then Tobi noticed Hidan turn and say something to her at which point she turned and kicked him in the shin. He crippled over. Next to them was Itachi, looking just as haggard as when Tobi had last seen him. Then next to him was the roundish ginger boy Tobi had noticed before and wondered if he would do alright. He was much larger than the others, though on the other hand he was also the most eager to get started.

The teacher raised an arm into the air, waited for them to prepare then blew his whistle. As Itachi, Hidan and Tayuya began to jog away, Tobi noticed Jirobo slip something from his pocket and pop it into his mouth. The next thing anyone knew, he had sprinted off into the distance, screaming excitedly as he went. Those still waiting to start looked amongst themselves curiously, until the teacher said,

"If anyone else tries popping a pill before they start, it'll be straight to the Headmaster and a minimum month's detention."

Some of the students looked a little guilty, shuffling about as if to inconspicuously drop their stash somewhere people were not looking. The teacher could only put his hand to his head and sigh. From next to Tobi, the other girl perked up.

"Why don't we spend a little time together?" she said, playing with one of her two pink pigtails as she brushed up against him. Tobi, expertly ignorant, nodded and grabbed her in a bone crushing hug. She tried to let out a shriek but he was holding her rather too tightly, so she opted for trying to break free. This, however, she found was impossible and so she flopped against him, wishing she had a better taste in men.

"Fubuki, Nadara, Mizore, Zaku, you're up," called the teacher before he noticed Fubuki's situation. "Fubuki, on your own time! Get in line!"

The girl in Tobi's arms gritted her teeth, finding it rather unfair that she was being called out. "Raiga, this isn't my fault!"

"That's _Sir_ to you!" he eyed up Tobi, "get off her. Like I said, in your own time!"

Tobi let go, not entirely sure what he was meant to be doing in his own time, but he did not want to make the teacher angrier than he clearly already was.

After that group had set off running, the teacher called Tobi's name and he bounded happily over to the starting mark. Joining him were Kin: a girl with long dark hair that he was sure she would trip over, Sakon: a pale boy wearing a pearl necklace that he was sure would smack him in the face as he ran, and Ukon: the identical copy and twin of Sakon. The only difference in the pair was which eye was covered by hair. The teacher raised his arm into the air, looked over to them then blew the whistle.

Tobi sped off at a sprint, leaving the other three behind to jog. He was far too concerned with not falling past the twenty minute mark to think about jogging! He had stuff to do, people to see and schools to save.

A while later – he was not entirely sure how long – Tobi made his way into the final lap of the run. He had passed by a number of students now and it made him think that he was doing well enough for him to be able to slow down. He made his way into the woods and paused to catch his breath and had to wonder if anyone had finished yet. He had overtaken Tayuya near the end of the first lap, and had found Jirobo passed out from an energy crash by the swimming pool in the second. As far as Tobi could see ahead or behind him, he was alone. He trotted his way through the woods, finally having the chance to get a look of the place. The forest seemed to stretch out for an acre in all directions, with trees so large that it seemed they had been around since long before the city had started. He carried on through, whistling to himself at a trotting pace, until he heard a sound. The snapping of a twig made him stop. He looked behind him, now in the thickest part of the wood, but did not see anyone. He carried on again until a second sound came. This time it was a dry ripping sound as if a full sized branch had been pulled from one of the trees. Beginning to think that there could be something more than just himself in the forest, Tobi started jogging, picking up speed.

Tobi was not whole-heartedly sure that bears and wolves had been driven from the city decades ago, in fact, hearing more twigs snapping behind him, drawing closer and quicker than he was running, he was quite sure that they had missed a few. A low snarl from somewhere behind him only proved it.

Tobi ran full pelt through the forest, never daring to look round to see the creature chasing him. He screamed and wailed, hoping it would attract someone like Kisame to scare the creature off. However, running as fast as he could did not prevent something cold and scratchy land on his shoulder. A snarl so deadly caused him to shiver with dread until it caused quite an alarming reaction in him. As if his adrenalines had been waiting for him to boarder on death, Tobi suddenly launched himself away through the forest, outrunning whatever was chasing him, screaming all the while. He left the forest, launched himself up the hill, hurtled past the largest swimming centre he had ever seen and was sure it must just be comically oversized on the outside, then charged his way back to the gym, never once giving his lungs a chance to rest. In such a fright and such a state, Tobi charged past a number of people blindly. They stopped running to watch him. Up ahead, at the gym, people had gathered to cheer on those finishing. However as Tobi approached, the small crowd that had clustered together flew apart, scared that Tobi was never going to stop. On the other hand, one person up ahead was either too trusting of Tobi or too naïve. Itachi, close to finishing the race, jogged along like he did this every day. He did not move aside. Instead he crossed over the line with poised elegance only to bend over on the gravelled walkway to catch his breath. Assuming Tobi would pass him by he stayed there.

What followed was a hideous crash that promptly shut Tobi up but had Itachi hurled onto the gravel floor. Not wasting time for fear of the monster, Tobi was the first one up.

"Help Tobi! Tobi's going to die!"

Noticing other people around to protect him, he looked behind to see the monster but aside from the trail of on-looking runners, there was nothing. Tobi let out a sigh of relief then, realising he had bowled someone to the floor in his attempt to escape, turned to them.

"Itachi!" Tobi shrieked, watching the raven haired boy pull himself up to his feet, his knees, hands and part of his face scratched and bleeding from the gravelled floor. "Tobi's sorry! Tobi didn't mean to hurt you! Tobi was running from a monster," Thinking it would help, only making matters far worse, he dived on Itachi. "Tobi's sorry!"

As Itachi tried to tell Tobi that it was alright, a figure appeared from inside the gym, hot and sweating from an hour's work out. He saw Itachi on the floor, the blood on his face and Tobi pinning him down. Before anything could be said or explained, Tobi was hurled into the gymnasium wall, his head smashing backwards into the brick. He let out a howl of pain but quickly found an unforgiving hand around his throat.

"What did you do?" hissed the darkest tones Tobi had ever heard. With his head a little fuzzy from the wall collision, his eyesight swam in an out of focus but he could still see two rows of shark-like teeth.

"Tobi's sorry! Tobi was running away from a monster and—" the nails dug into his throat. He coughed and spluttered, unable to finish.

"Shut up, kid." Kisame said before directing his attention to his roommate, "Itachi, what happened?"

Beginning to gasp for breath, Tobi only hoped that he had made a good enough impression on Itachi yesterday for him to be saved. Itachi took a moment to lean down to brush the gravel from his knees, giving Kisame long enough to come to his own decision, draw his hand back and punch Tobi square in the face. With a howl of pain Tobi reached up to the eye that had taken the most damage and covered it, hoping he could protect it if Kisame issued another blow. He whimpered and wailed with his other hand clinging to Kisame's wrist as he tried to pry him off. Kisame leaned in close to Tobi and bared his teeth like a wolf would before eating the rabbit.

"I will kill you," he threatened, the grip on Tobi's throat growing tighter until it made him cough again. Itachi, dusting the dirt from his elbows as he spoke, finally took part in the discussion and called Kisame off.

"It was not Tobi's fault, Kisame." He plucked a small piece of stone from the graze on his chin. "Put him down."

Like an obedient guard dog, Kisame loosened the grip around Tobi's neck and let him drop to the floor. Once he was down, whimpering as he clutched at his swelling eye and his throat, Itachi asked him,

"Tobi, what were you saying about a monster?"

Before answering Itachi, Tobi made absolute certain that he was out of Kisame's arm's reach then said as he peered out of watering eyes towards the woods, "Tobi was being chased by a monster in the forest. He thought it was chasing him all the way to the gym so he panicked and ran as fast as he could," he passed Itachi a very apologetic look, "Tobi's really sorry."

Kisame was towering behind Itachi with his arms crossed defiantly over his chest. He was far from calm, ready to take out the next person who walked too close to his roommate. Seeking blood, he said,

"What did the monster look like?"

In all his fright, Tobi had concocted the image of a beast so terrifying that it made him shiver to think about it. However, before he was given chance to give a length description to the boys, someone's laughter drew the attention of the three boys and all of the on-lookers. Hidan had appeared, walking up from the football pitch as he howled with laughter, clutching a hand into his stomach as the laughter began to pain him. When he saw Tobi is such a state in front of him and as Itachi and Kisame began to eye him suspiciously, his laughter turned to awkward coughs and sneezes and the occasional snicker.

"Oi, Tobi. Did you…" he stopped for just a moment to make sure his laughter was stifled though his grin showed how funny he was finding this, "Did you see anything in the woods? You look like you've shit a brick."

The horrible truth was slowly realised by Tobi as Hidan slapped him on the shoulder as he walked past. However, the truth became apparent much more quickly to Itachi and Kisame. Hidan was forced to a stop as Kisame stepped out in front of him, blocking his way to the changing rooms.

"Kid," he said darkly as his hands clenched and unclenched by his sides, "I hope your practical joke was worth it."

Seeing who was in front of him, Hidan took a step back. Kisame Hoshigaki was one of the last people you wanted to piss off. But it seemed it was too late for Hidan. For the briefest moment he wondered what he had done to anger the giant but when his eyes fell on Itachi and the cuts along his face, Hidan raised his hands to tell Kisame that it was not his fault.

"That was fucking Tobi. You can leave off. That had nothing to do with me."

Unfortunately Kisame was seeking blood and Itachi had already given Tobi a pardon, so Kisame was going to go for the next best thing. He stepped forward, one fist rising up until it was level with Hidan's head. As a cold sweat began to trickle down the silver haired boy's neck he made the sensible decision, turned on his heel and hurtled his way back towards the forest. Kisame gave him the slightest head start only because he waited just long enough for Itachi to give him permission to charge, then the blue haired boy was off light a bolt of lightning. As the two disappeared into the distance, Itachi came up alongside Tobi who was still holding his face looking rather more frightened than he had done with the monster and wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulders, guiding him towards the academy's medical building.

oOo

Hours later when the school day was over and the students had settled into their places around the campus, Tobi was still in the medical centre and Itachi had left him quite some time ago. Though, as he waited to be seen with dwindling patience, something far more interesting was happening up at his room.

Zetsu sat cross-legged on his bed, waiting for another film to load on his laptop. At the end of the bed was another pizza box, empty, and an open bottle of beer rested on the table at the side of him with Lady the Venus flytrap. As he waited with shrinking patience for the film to buffer, he checked his watch. Tobi had been gone an awfully long time and it was – only slightly, let's be clear – starting to make him worry for the boy. Tobi seemed all too loud and boisterous for the academy's general population and Zetsu would not find it surprising if he had landed himself into a world of trouble.

Hearing a knock at his door he grinned toothily to Lady.

"The idiot's lost his key then."

With the nimbleness of a spider monkey he jumped from the bed, taking the empty pizza box with him and flung it expertly out of the open window. When he was sure Tobi could not see or smell the evidence of his dinner he moved to the bedroom door and opened it wide with another grin. Though, when he realised that it was not Tobi in the doorway the grin disappeared.

"Kisame," he said in cold greeting. The tall boy leered down at him, resting his shoulder in the doorway.

"Is your roommate in?"

Zetsu's eyes turned hard. Those in the corridor behind Kisame began to point and whisper, seeing members of two different gangs staring each other down.

"No. He's not."

"Well then," Kisame said with as much distaste at Zetsu was giving. "I guess I've got something to discuss with you instead."

He pushed himself off of the doorway and barged past Zetsu into his room. Though Zetsu began to suck on his teeth, obvious hatred plastered on his face, he did not attempt to throw Kisame out. Taking one last look into the corridor he glanced about then shut the door, locking it. Kisame strode across to one of the red armchairs and sat down, loosely crossing his legs. Zetsu took the beer bottle from his bedside table, drank from it then said, "Want one?"

Kisame grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."

Zetsu grinned back, diving under his bed to retrieve a second bottle. As he reached around for the crate, he called out, "Did you actually want my roommate for something or were you just checking he wasn't about?"

Kisame pulled off his shoes and threw them into Zetsu's open wardrobe. "A bit of both. That twerp got me really riled up today."

Zetsu wiggled out from under the bed brandishing the entire crate of beer then settled himself down in the other armchair.

"Here," he said, offering one of the bottles to Kisame. The blue haired boy nodded gratefully and took it then used his jagged teeth to pop the cap.

"Thanks, mate."

They clinked the necks of the bottles together then took a swig each. As Kisame's swig was far greater and he nearly finished off the drink in one, Zetsu had a chance to ask, "What did Tobi do now?"

Kisame put the bottle on the arm of the chair with a satisfied sigh as he wiped away the dribble from his chin. "He floored my roommate."

Zetsu could not hide his surprise. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. The kid was running from this other brat and Itachi was in the way."

Zetsu had to chuckle into his bottle then hide it as a cough. That sounded more like Tobi. Kisame said, shrugging his shoulders like he felt no guilt at all. "I punched the kid before I found out it was the brat's fault."

That did not surprise Zetsu. The way Tobi acted, he was surprised it had taken him that long to get punched. Getting up to check on the progress of the buffering film, Zetsu said over his shoulder,

"He's got a death wish, I swear."

"How do you mean?"

Zetsu saw the buffering metre only half full and shut the lid of his laptop as he tutted. Forty minutes he had been waiting on that film. It was not worth it.

"He's on a mission to save the school," he said, finishing the end of his drink. "He's asking around to see if anyone will fork us out of debt."

"That kid?" said Kisame disbelievingly, reaching into the crate to retrieve another two bottles. Zetsu made his way back to his seat and held a hand out expectantly, only Kisame opened one bottle with his teeth and set the other down by the foot of his chair. When Zetsu tried to grab his attention by glaring at him Kisame suddenly slammed the open bottle onto the arm of his chair, sending froth and alcohol onto the carpet. "Was that what the kid was doing in my room this morning? Asking Itachi for money?"

Zetsu watched unhappily as froth continued to bubble out of the top of the beer bottle and slide its way down the glass onto the armchair then he picked a fresh one from the crate and nodded. Kisame let out a long whistle, surprised by Tobi's idiocy.

"The poor sod must be desperate."

"Or stupid."

"That too."

Though they both laughed, they could see where Tobi was coming from. Neither truly wished to leave the academy and although they were not as hell-bent on saving the school as he was, they began to speculate over ways to save the school, guzzling through the beers as they went. It was twelve beers each later and too much time to count that they began to delve into the strangest parts of their imaginations for ideas. They were trying their best to find something that they could do together so that they would receive equal credit, bragging rights and if there happened to be any, rewards.

Kisame said as he dangled over the side of the armchair, now entirely too drunk to sit upright, "I like fish. Can we make money out of fish?"

Zetsu, sprawled on the floor like an animal rug as he stacked empty beer bottles in front of him, replied, "Only if we cook them."

"What about an aquarium?"

"No one would pay to see that."

"I would," Kisame said proudly, sitting up just long enough to thump his fist against his chest respectfully to all fish-kind. As he flopped back over the side of the armchair, he did it with such force that he toppled from the chair, landing on the floor with a heavy thud causing Zetsu's rather impressive tower of bottles to come crashing down. Angrily he launched one out of the bedroom window.

"What are you so moody about?" asked Kisame as he started to hiccup, picking himself up from the floor. He staggered forward, wading through the pile of bottles so that they chinked against one another until he was through them and diving on Zetsu's bed. With a heavy thud as he landed on the mattress, he said all too seriously, "I bet the answer is staring us in the face."

As Zetsu began to stack the bottles again he looked moodily – albeit fuzzily – at Kisame. However, he quickly found his eyes drawn to the posters above the blue haired boy's head.

"I bet…" he said in contemplation, staring at the poster of a Suzuki Hayabusa motorbike. Though the alcohol was trying its very hardest to play keep-away with Zetsu's sensibility, the idea came to him almost as quickly as it would have done had he been sober. "I've got it!"

Though he said it clearly in his head, what had left his mouth was a string of slurred syllables that Kisame could not make sense of.

"Come again?" he said, chuckling as he leaned down to rake about below Zetsu's bed, pulling a corked bottle of something up a moment later. Zetsu, so confident in his idea, left his tower of bottles, launched himself at the bed and when he tripped over his own foot and wrapped himself around the bedpost to stop himself falling over he grinned.

"We can race!"

"Race?"

"Race," Zetsu said again. He pointed towards the poster. "Rival gangs. Bets on. We're the best damn bikers in our gangs. We could make a killing."

Kisame found the idea all too interesting and even left the corked bottle of dubious alcohol unopened to mull it over in his dizzy minded way. They were indeed the fastest racers in their respective gangs and the opportunity for drag races often came up when they had shed too much blood and a peaceful means of settling turf wars or questions of respect were needed. Plenty of people bet on the races and Kakuzu, the seedy bookie of the academy and all areas local, had raked in a fortune.

"We could—we could have a…" Though Kisame was on the brink of a brilliant idea, his drunkenness and the fact he had not had a drink in the past few moments compelled him to pop the cork from the bottle of undisclosed alcohol. He pulled and tugged and when he could not open it he took it between his jaws and ripped the cork out, the recoil of the bottle sending brown sludge over the bed and onto the floor. Zetsu watched with despair. Kisame, none the wiser and all too happy to see he had another drink to keep him topped up, finally finished, "We could have a gang challenge, get Kakuzu to put on bets and—and—hell, if we get enough publicity we'll make a fortune and save the academy."

As Kisame drank the majority of the contents of Zetsu's secret stash, Zetsu stumbled onto the bed and managed to pull it away from his friend before the entire drink was gone. Not giving Kisame any time to finish it off, he downed the last of it because it was a brew as old as he was, smuggled through from Kirigakure and he would be damned if he was going to lose it all to his blue haired companion. This was his first major mistake. There was a reason that particular bottle of alcohol was illegal and had to be smuggled in. Both Kisame and Zetsu found that out the hard way after only thirty minutes.

Still fervently discussing the race, they became increasingly incoherent to anyone who might walk in on them but to each other they spoke fluently, like they had concocted their own secret language based on intoxication and poor judgement. In a sequence of distorted and slurred syllables they decided to tell Orochimaru about the race and have him advertise the event as far and as wide as possible. The more punters there were, the more money there was to be made. Afterwards they chose to discuss the race itself. Although at first they debated if they should rig the race so that one would win and have everyone bet the other way but when they began to argue over who would be the winner based on actual skill they chose to race for real. This was fifty minutes after drinking the smuggled alcohol and this was when they made their second major mistake. Still sure that he could win the race against Kisame, Zetsu said in one terrible moment of misguided judgement,

"wun-eet-too-lugud-furth- _hiccup_ -roose."

To no one but Kisame this translated to ' _we need to look good for the race'_. Kisame slapped his knee as if what he had said had been a strike of brilliance then toppled sideways from the bed, taking with him Zetsu's duvet. On the floor and very much disorientated he replied in as obscure a language as Zetsu,

"Wah-shul-wur?" ' _What should we wear?'_

Zetsu replied, _'Not what should we wear. What should we do? We need to be one with the bikes.'_

' _One with the bikes?'_ Kisame wondered, trying to pull himself up from the floor only to slip and bump his head against Zetsu's bedside table where Lady was perched.

' _Of course old chum. And what better way than to paint ourselves accordingly?'_ Groaned and grunted Zetsu, holding the empty bottle above his head, peering into it to see if there was a drop left. There was, and by his luck it dripped into his eye.

' _Ah, I understand you completely! But what do you suggest?'_

' _Well, racing stripes for me, of course. But what about yourself?'_

Kisame thought this over for quite some time, wading his way through hazy thoughts to picture his bike and what he could do to 'become one with it' as Zetsu had said eloquently with slurs, hiccups and the ever growing urge to hold down his vomit. It was easy for him though, obvious even. Zetsu owned a beautiful black motorcycle with white racing stripes along the front and back fairings and the gas tank. Though Kisame's bike was powerful, there was nothing particularly visual about it other than its striking light blue colour. Suddenly, and with the gleeful innocence of one who has no idea he is condemning himself with his actions, Kisame clicked his fingers together as the idea hit him.

' _I know what to do!'_

oOo

Sometime later, no one could say exactly how long, Tobi arrived outside the door to his room with his left eye bandaged over. Happily feeling like a pirate but still in some degree of pain as the swelling of the bruise continued to bloom below the covering, he pulled out his key and pushed it into the lock.

Though he heard noises he did not have the sense to think that they were coming from inside his room as there was a common room not too far down the corridor. Unsuspectingly and eager to tell Zetsu all about his day he opened his door wide and stepped inside. Once his eyes had fallen on the scene playing out across his bedroom however, he only had chance to yell in his most terrified of screams " _What have you done_?" before the sight of an entirely blue Kisame and a black and white Zetsu caused him to go into such a state of panic and shock that he promptly fainted.

* * *

 _Oh no, what have they done!? Hehe the origin story of Zetsu and Kisame's weird skin colours. Drink responsibly guys! ;)_

 _How will the race go, and how will Tobi get on with his quest to save the school? Tune in next time! And please leave me a review - short or long, moany or loving, all are welcome!_

 _WhenSarahSmiles_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: The characters from Naruto belong to Misashi Kishimoto.

* * *

Chapter 4

A week later brought the day of the race. With the halls of the academy laden with advertising posters, Tobi walked through them looking rather defeated. Aside from the fact his eye was still hurting him and he was not allowed to remove the bandage for another week, he had not made any progress with his mission to save the academy. Many small groups of students had started their own fundraising, not in the least Zetsu who had most of the school talking about his gang race against the Deadly Swordsmen. Needless to say that the two groups were at loggerheads and if two happened to cross paths, all others in the vicinity had to dive for the closest classroom, locker or taller person to hide behind.

But of all the people with their own attempts to save the school, Tobi had made the least progress. It was hard for one student to go it alone when they were still settling in and trying to keep up with schoolwork. It took most of his time just to keep up with Deidara's demanding music project rehearsals. Although Deidara did not very much like the boy, he did not want to waste the money he had already paid even more by failing a class.

It was from one such rehearsal that Tobi was walking away. With the tune and lyrics of the project set in stone, their rehearsals consisted mostly of playing over and over until Tobi's hands felt prickly from beating his drums. Deidara would only play the tune of the song, refusing on principle to sing until the day they were marked because he had been, in no uncertain terms, coerced.

Now that the day's rehearsal was over, Tobi at least had the chance to enjoy watching the race. Droves of students were making their way out of the school, heading to the road where it seemed the whole of uptown Konoha was waiting to see the spectacle. From the corridor he could hear the bustle of people, chatting and hollering as they began to line the streets. The race was going to travel around the edge of the academy's twenty acres of land with students, gangs, businessmen and passers-by watching, waiting with baited breath because they had expensive bets placed.

Tobi dashed along the corridor, heading for the stairs to the dormitories with growing excitement as every person he passed by buzzed with the fever of the race. However, as his foot landed on the first step, the sound of a sibilant S rang out from across the corridor and forced him to freeze.

"So Tobi," hissed the school's headmaster as he slinked his way through the lessening droves of students, "How is your quest to save my academy going? You haven't checked in with me in a while, you naughty boy."

His words sent a terrible shiver through Tobi that made the boy wholeheartedly regret not sending Orochimaru a progress email.

"T-T-T-Tobi's sorry. T-Tobi has been busy." He kept his back to Orochimaru, feeling his jaw tight as it locked in fear. "Tobi hasn't been able to do anything."

He yelped when Orochimaru's hand landed on his shoulder with the icy touch of death. Like an old rusted machine his head twisted slowly by the neck until he was staring into the harrowing eyes of the headmaster. His own eyes began to dribble with terrified tears and as he did, he saw a look of anger dart through Orochimaru's gaze. Fearing that it was because of his failures, Tobi's eyes filled so full of tears that for the briefest moment he could no longer make out the teacher's terrible face.

"Tobi's sorry!"

He heard Orochimaru give a long, drawn out sigh. It made him panic and for a second he thought the best idea would be to flee up the stairs and hope he made it to his bedroom before Orochimaru got his teeth into him.

Orochimaru said in a voice very unlike his usual delicate, deadly tone, "For heaven's sake Tobi boy, _DESIST!_ "

Tobi flinched, his hands flying up to cover his head just in case Orochimaru pounced at him, his face distorted in fear. Orochimaru continued, looking just as angry as before, "I know my face is dazzling but I would think by now you could stop your damned expressions!"

Although Tobi was very unsure that dazzling was the way to describe Orochimaru, he did not make that point. Instead he shook his head, begging his headmaster for forgiveness. He could not help it but Headmaster Orochimaru's face sent him into a flurry of panic every time he saw it, bringing up images of unspeakable torture and dying puppies into his head.

Orochimaru's hand left Tobi's shoulder and the man tutted before storming off, sending those few students stupid enough to look at him into the closest wall as he passed by them. Without realising it, Tobi had started to quake with terror. It was only after Orochimaru was out of sight that he realised what he was doing and stopped. Tears were pouring from his eyes, soaking into the bandage over his left eye until it sagged a little under the weight. He wiped his good eye, then his nose, then started to trudge up the staircase feeling more miserable than ever.

As he reached the top of the first flight, with his head hung low and his good eye staring down at his shoes, he walked head-first into something that made an ' _umph'_ sound as he collided with it. Tobi stumbled back, his foot disappearing backwards off the top step, only a hand reached out and took his own before he was sent tumbling down the stairs.

"Be careful," said the voice of his saviour. Taking a moment to look at the hand and thank it profusely, Tobi then looked up at the face associated with it. As he was pulled forwards so that he could stand firmly on the landing, Tobi noticed that it was Deidara's friend, Sasori, holding onto him with a small collection of folders clustered together in his other hand.

"Thank you," Tobi said sincerely. He already had a bad eye. He did not want a bad foot, back or neck to go with it.

"Are you… alright?" asked Sasori after a moment's pause. It seemed Sasori was not normally the type to concern himself with others but as Tobi was still streaming with tears, snot dribbling unpleasantly from his nose, it was not easy to get away without asking something.

Taking a moment to put this in perspective, Tobi was not used to people asking about his wellbeing and those who did never asked again. It was like opening some terrible valve inside Tobi that let him spill all his fears and worries out at once and as he was a person with the mental range of an eight year old at the best of times he could think of lots to worry about. Monsters and being stabbed in the roof of the mouth by a sharp crisp to name a couple. However in the case of Sasori, Tobi was still so caught up on the fear of Orochimaru that it was all he could talk about.

"Tobi wants to save the school but Tobi's going to get kicked out of school before he can because he can't stop staring at the headmaster and it's making him angry and—and—" Tobi was cut off by his own sudden sobbing. It made Sasori wince as the wailing took a sudden twist and shot an octave up, becoming a high pitch screeching sound. He understood why Deidara had been so mad at him for leaving him in Music, forcing Deidara to suffer the boy alone. His heart jumped into his throat when Tobi suddenly latched onto his arm and wailed even louder. "Tobi can't help it! Tobi doesn't want to upset the headmaster. Tobi likes it here! Tobi's sorry!"

Sasori did not attempt to throw the boy off. He had already heard of his ridiculous strength. Instead, as he was rather adept to dealing with Deidara's tantrums, he adopted a calm composure and dropped his folders to the floor so that he could put a hand on Tobi's shoulder.

"Tobi," he said sternly. Tobi stopped screeching and looked at him with his one good, albeit puffy and red eye. "I can help you, if you want."

Tobi's expression went from teary to shocked to happy in a matter of moments. "H-help Tobi?"

Again, it was not that Sasori was usually one to come charging in to save the day but helping Tobi out in the way he planned to benefited Sasori in two ways.

"I can make you a mask, if you like? If you can't stop yourself gurning when you see the headmaster you can always cover you face?" He needed a small project for his next woodwork class and if he did this for Tobi, there was less of a chance that Orochimaru would kick him out – possibly only a tiny chance judging from the terrible situations he had heard about Tobi getting into – which meant Deidara would not lose his second music partner and Sasori would not have to hear him complaining. It was perfect and it seemed Tobi thought so too. He was swinging from Sasori's arm giddily, singing his praises in a very out-of-tune way.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" he chirped, letting go of Sasori's arm so that he could stoop down and pick up his new best friend's folders. Though a mask seemed a bit extreme, it was the best idea anyone had come up with and if Tobi looked at it another way, someone was making him a gift! He really had made friends and that made him feel so giddy that when he passed the folders over he nearly spilled them from his arms and dropped the down the stairs. "Tobi would love a mask!"

Sasori did wonder briefly if this was a bad idea; Tobi was already obsessed with Deidara and he did not want that to happen to him too… but the two benefits of his plan outweighed the negative. Fixing on a fake smile he asked, "I can get it to you in a few days. Would you like any particular colour?"

Tobi was in heaven. His best friend was asking for his favourite colour. With pride and a chest full with happiness he grinned like a Cheshire cat, gave Sasori a thumbs-up and bellowed, "Orange!"

oOo

With the streets of uptown Konoha full and bustling, all eyes on the road, when the front doors to the academy opened wide and two hooded figures stepped out the city erupted. Tobi was among the crowds, perched on top of one of the tall pillars at the academy's gate – a prime spot for both the start and finish of the race. He was waving a large banner over his head, shouting down towards the two hooded figures as they approached through the makeshift alleyway built mostly of the opposing gang members but also teachers, the police and the press. Orochimaru had certainly pulled his connections with this race. If it meant any small chance of saving his academy, he intended to give it as much publicity as possible.

Though Tobi was happy for Zetsu on his big day he could not stop giggling as he saw his roommate pull awkwardly at the hood of his leather jacket, determined on hiding himself until the last moment. Until today, he had kept himself hidden away in his room since the night of his drunken antics. The entire day after had been spent below the duvet, crying, hoping the world would swallow him whole. Kisame had skulked out from the room in the early hours of the morning, cloaked below the same jacket that he was wearing now as he painted on a fake look of hatred towards Zetsu from beneath the hood. Tobi was the only other person who knew of their friendship and he had been sworn to secrecy on threat of Kisame punching him in his good eye.

When they arrived at the gates, their respective gangs following behind like two billowing clouds of hooded smoke, hot and angry at each other, they passed each other a nervous glance as their hands raised up to their hoods. They were almost in front of their bikes now and the unveiling was inevitable. After that horrendous night of drunken mistakes they had washed and scrubbed and done all in their power to escape what they had done but, well…

Zetsu pulled down the hood of his jacket and those close enough to see him gasped. Trying to retain his credibility, he pretended that everything was normal, like having the failed attempt of a racing stripe with the left side of him white and the right side of him black was something people did every day for fashion. The pigments were stained so deep into his skin that seven days of washing had done nothing to dull it but he waved and grinned like it had been planned all along. And the crowds took it well. They whistled and hooted and called out to him and he took position by his bike, his gang mates slapping him on the back encouragingly. Seeing Zetsu's welcoming reception, Kisame grinned and pulled down his own hood. He was greeted by more gasps and some laughter, one loud comment of ' _oh look! A giant smurf!_ ' but as he was the favourite to win and most bets were on him he was greeted with loud hollers and applause, though when he mounted his bike the other members of his gang had already disappeared to mingle in the crowds, leaving him alone to stare down the road.

It took until the crowds became restless for Zetsu's gang members to leave him be, heading to the side-lines to cheer him on. Kisame passed him a reproachful look, kicking his bike into life with a sudden lease of determination.

"You're going to lose so badly that Shinju kick you out from embarrassment," he said through gritted teeth, revving the engine of his bike. Zetsu smirked.

"I doubt Deadly Swordsmen will want you back after this. No one needs a washed up blueberry."

Both boys smirked, successfully riling each other up but also silently wishing each other luck. Zetsu slicked back his shaggy green hair and Kisame gritted his pointed teeth together until they made terrible grinding sounds then when Orochimaru stepped forward, his unbuttoned tweed jacket billowing about him in the wind filled with high spirits, Zetsu kicked his black and white bike into life, revving it hard to signal the race was about to begin.

With a mouthpiece attached to his face and speakers placed strategically around the track, Orochimaru walked into the middle of the road and said in his delicately deadly tones,

"I do hope your bets are in. Today we watch the grudge match between Shinju and the Deadly Swordsmen settled with a bike race," he fixed the unnaturally coloured boys with a meaningful stare, "I want a clean race. We have spectators who demand a fair game," this was only met with rebellion from those few gang members who did not know the true extent of Orochimaru's wrath. "Do I make myself clear?"

The boys nodded. They reached behind themselves and took their helmets, strapping them into place as they mentally prepared themselves from the race. Zetsu was finding it much harder to get into the zone because no matter how much he tried to drown it out, he could hear the gleeful and unwaveringly high spirits of Tobi shouting his name from somewhere above his head. He did not want to look. He did not dare. He found Tobi to be quite the funny little guy but now was not the time to laugh at him. Kisame, on the other hand, was calm and his eyes stared on ahead with no distractions from cheering friends or goading enemies. He knew somewhere in the crowd Itachi was watching but he was too proud to be loud and encouraging. Kisame did not mind. Knowing that he had someone out there supporting him was fuel enough. He waited, revving his bike once more to show his growing impatience.

Orochimaru sensed it but waited just long enough to make sure the various members of the press and security were in place then he raised his hand.

"One lap. You start and end here. Any sabotage and you will be disqualified," a smirk spread its way across his lips until it touched the tops of his cheekbones. Tobi, up on the pillar, buried his eyes behind his hands as the sensation of wanting to be sick built in his stomach. Down on the ground however, Zetsu and Kisame grinned. Orochimaru counted down from three then on the final call he dropped his hand and the race began.

Zetsu and Kisame revved their engines, then in seconds the world around them blurred into fuzzy lines of motion. The spectators became one hazy rainbowed line, the buildings a larger grey line and the sky above with its shining white clouds was the only thing far enough away to be distinguishable. The two bikes flew along the road, neither driver able to hear the sounds of the spectators screaming over the sound of the engines. At the first bend they screeched and turned, filling the air with a strong smell of burnt rubber. With Zetsu on the outside he skidded close to the edge of the road but the spectators trusted him not to let the bike fly into the crowd. He flagged behind until he was fully upright and managed to speed up but Kisame was in his prime.

Kisame had a very distinct driving style. Go fast, swerve a lot and hope that everything had the sense to get out of his way. This was often his style in races; as long as he was given enough space to pull out in front, once he was there, there was no getting past him. With Zetsu coming up on his left flank he shoved his bike across until he was blocking Zetsu behind him then switched gears to send a puff of blue smoke into his face. Chuckling, he did not notice Zetsu avoid the smoke by throwing himself to the inside lane until he had revved up and come up alongside him.

With Zetsu gaining speed the majority of the crowd booed, hoping he would have some terrible accident. Though with many – very underage and very illegal - years of practice under his belt, he was sailing smoothly. Kisame, with very much the same experience, sailed brilliantly but not in the slightest bit smoothly. Taking the bend on the outside, the spectators dived away from the road as Kisame's bike barely missed clipping the curb. It did not drop his momentum and even with Zetsu pulling away in the near distance, when Kisame was back on the straight he revved and threw himself forward, leaning low to urge himself on.

At the other side of the grounds, Tobi was standing on the very tips of his toes, trying to see how the race was going. People below him were chatting quietly, excitedly, and he could see Orochimaru listening through his headpiece to keep up to date with the race. The road they were currently racing along was a fair distance away; too far for any binoculars to see. Never the less, feeling if he shouted loud enough Zetsu would still be able to hear him, Tobi bounced up and down, waving his banner, hollering,

"Go, Zetsu! GO!"

He was oblivious to the sets of Deadly Swordsmen eyes watching him, mumbling curses that the police were around so that they could not attack Tobi for supporting their enemy. Though he was quickly forgotten about when the roar of an engine started to grow nearer as it turned into the third road around the outskirts of the academy grounds. No one at the finish line could tell who it was but by the cheering – or lack of – it seemed to be Zetsu. Tobi shrieked and clapped, leaning out over the edge of the pillar in hopes of seeing his friend come hurtling round the final bend soon. Only the next moment there was a collective gasp then the crowd flew into screams and cheers and Tobi's joy turned to panic. He jumped up and looked for Zetsu anywhere along the road but it was still so far away that there was nothing to see beyond the trees. Below him, the other members of Shinju were shoving each other nervously. The ripples of cheers spread from the bend to the finish line when the tiny blur of one of the bikes came into view. It zoomed on, the sound of the engine shrieking victory as it flew. There was no one following though the crowd hardly cared; they had not bet on the missing bike.

Kisame carried on down the road, the crowds either side of him cheering and hooting and hollering and whooping, but Tobi and many of Zetsu's gang members had forgotten about the race. Many of the Shinju members left the comfort of leaning on the fences, charging forward to get onto the road in protest but the police were quick to grab them and stop them. All at once they started bellowing ' _CHEAT'_ and ' _what did you do!?_ ' to any nearby Deadly Swordsman. Taking this as a challenge even before the blue bike came close to crossing the finish line, the clusters of Deadly Swordsmen ran forward, hurling abuse. Before there was time for fists to connect, the roar of a second engine filled the air. It sent shivers down the spines of anyone who could hear it. The sound was desperate and the sound was angry. But Kisame was too far ahead now. Peering over his shoulder he revved his engine, a showboat at heart and hurled his weight backwards, lifting the front wheel of his bike up into the air. Perfectly executed he sped across the finish line and most people around erupted with cheering. The second bike roared with rage for a moment more but when it realised it was defeated it accepted this and settled down, giving itself dignity as it drove the final stretch and stopped gently when it was across the finish line.

Kisame lifted off his helmet, grinning and waving to all who were congratulating him. Zetsu, on the other hand, pulled off his helmet and threw it to the ground angrily. At once his gang mates clustered around him and Tobi leaned down to hear what he was saying.

"They sabotaged me. They got in the fucking way, I can't believe them!"

Half expecting Shinju to turn on Kisame and the Deadly Swordsmen and strike them down where they stood, Tobi was relieved to hear one of the yin-yang jacketed boys say, "Mate, we're just glad you're okay. You scared the shit out of us."

Hands patted him on the back and though at first he looked cheated and annoyed, this quickly fell to smiles and laughter when his friends attacked him and complimented his race, saying that he would have won if it had been a fair fight. Kisame on the other hand stood alone. The members of his gang were fist bumping each other and cheering merrily but no one went to congratulate him. But he waved and he grinned, briefly stealing glances at Zetsu to see if he was alright. Though he doubted Zetsu would believe him, he had not known that his gang had planned to spoil the race. When two of the Deadly Swordsmen had rolled into the road in front of Zetsu pretending to be in a fight, he had been just as shocked as Zetsu. When Zetsu had swerved to avoid them but had come off the bike Kisame had been horrified. He had only carried on the race because he feared what would have happened to Zetsu had Kisame stopped to help him. Deadly Swordsmen did not risk their necks just for a sentimental idiot to ruin their hard work by stopping.

Though the loud cheering continued for quite some time and Kisame took in the glory, when Orochimaru stepped forward the cheering stopped. His face was eerily calm but that only provoked Kisame's sudden urge to run. The man walked forward, whipping out an arm as if he intended to slap Kisame, only instead he came within inches of the boy and said in barely an audible tone,

"Disqualified."

Kisame was not surprised and neither was he sad. It took him a lot of effort to stop himself grinning. Orochimaru said it louder, reaching up to set the microphone in front of his mouth,

"Disqualified. Kisame Hoshigaki has been disqualified due to the interference of his friends," Kisame snorted. Though Orochimaru took this as a rude sign of defiance and disrespect towards him, Kisame had actually snorted that Orochimaru had just called his gang-mates his 'friends'. That was bollocks.

The road fell silent. All eyes fell to Kisame, the praise gone and the hatred strong as they did not know who else to blame from Deadly Swordsmen and naturally assumed Kisame had been fully aware of the sabotage plan. Up on the pillar, never one to enjoy a silence, Tobi suddenly whooped and hollered and it caught amongst Zetsu's supporters until they were all clapping and hollering and whistling. Zetsu had been the underdog and his betting odds had been ten-to-one. All at once the mood changed and Zetsu was pulled from his gang mates only to be pushed into the throng of supporters. Up above, Tobi scrambled to get down from the pillar. More than anything else, more than the winning, more than the amount of money they had just made to save the academy, Tobi was glad his friend was safe. He was still making friends and he rather liked his pizza-bring, plant-loving, Tobi-tolerating Zetsu.

As Tobi jumped into the crowds, trying to get to Zetsu, someone pushed past him looking even happier than he did. It was Kakuzu with money signs for eyes. He hurled people out of the way to get to Zetsu with Tobi using him as a convenient cattle pusher, staying close to but daring not to touch him. When Zetsu was within arm's reach, Kakuzu grabbed him and took him in a bone-crushing hug.

"You beautiful, freakishly coloured boy." The gritty tone of his voice shocked Tobi. Actually just the sound of his voice shocked Tobi. It was the first time he had ever heard his chemistry partner speak. "You've made me so much money."

Zetsu wriggled himself free and patted himself down. "Remember the deal. It goes to Orochimaru."

An evil smile spread out across the stitched up boy's face. "Of course. But a commissioner's cut on this will be substantial. You have my thanks."

Zetsu feared that Kakuzu was about to pull him into another hug but instead the boy left him to talk to Orochimaru. He was given just long enough to take a sigh of relief before Tobi took him in a bone-crushing hug instead, screaming his praises. It took three of the Shinju members to rescue him. However, as Tobi hugged Zetsu, swearing never to let go because Zetsu had nearly died without him, Tobi could not help but notice the overjoyed expression on Orochimaru's face slowly slip away as Kakuzu whispered to him.

oOo

Many hours later when the race hype was gone and the students had settled into the beginning of their weekends, Tobi was still uneasy. After a long and complicated argument with Zetsu consisting of Tobi pleading over and over and Zetsu quickly giving in because he was on his way out to celebrate the victory with his gang, Tobi found himself on his way to Kakuzu's room.

He had one of the easier rooms to find – on the door there was the silver symbol of an upside-down triangle in a circle. The symbol was almost as confusing as Itachi's red and white lightbulb-fan. Tobi knocked on the door but there was no answer quick enough. Feeling that it was too important to wait around, Tobi resorted to his favourite tactic and began to shoulder barge the door, figuring that Kakuzu would understand about the damage once Tobi had explained that it was a matter of academic importance. Fortunately for Kakuzu's door it was unlocked and swung open on the first collision. Tobi stumbled in, barely avoiding banging his head on one of the two four-poster beds. Catching his footing, Tobi uprighted himself then looked about.

"Kakuzu?" he asked unsurely, glancing around a room that seemed undoubtedly deserted. "Kakuz—."

Tobi cut himself off to the sound of something most wonderful. Someone was singing. It was not a CD or something recorded but actual live singing. He looked about, trying to find the source of the noise as it seemed gleefully close. Though the sound excited Tobi enough as it was, what made him giddier was that the singing sounded very much like Yahiko, more commonly known as Pein the world class singer. He was somewhere in Kakuzu's room; Tobi was sure of it.

As if Tobi's quest to save the school had been nothing but a dream, he set to work launching himself around the room to find Pein in all of the realistic and obscure places he could think of. This search soon brought him to the door of the en-suite. He threw himself against it, not to barge in but to listen. With his ear firmly wedged against the wood he could make out the lyrics to Pein's latest song over the sound of running water. Tobi was thrilled! Of all the people he could be listening to singing in the shower, he was listening to his idol!

It did not occur to Tobi as he barged through the door, screaming for an autograph, that Pein did not live at the academy, was not a student there and had not been one for many, many years. It was only after Tobi ripped back the shower curtain and saw Hidan's maroon eyes looking horrifically at him that he realised he might have made a mistake.

What followed was quite literally chaos. Both boys screamed but Hidan's terror quickly turned into a battle cry. Tobi tried to put the shower curtain back and run but Hidan was already charging. He got caught in the plastic and ripped it from the railings, catching Tobi around the neck with his outstretched hands. Tobi shrieked as he fell to the floor, the curtain-covered mess of Hidan falling down with him until they were both back in the bedroom with Tobi below Hidan, fending him off for dear life.

"Tobi's sorry! Tobi's sorry! _Please don't hurt Tobi!_ "

Hidan ignored him, water trickling along his body and down his arms as he tried to strangle Tobi. Fortunately for the brunette, though he was too terrified to think about using most of it, he had enough strength to keep Hidan at bay, holding him back just far enough so that his fingertips were tickling Tobi's neck as they tried to throttle him.

This scene could have gone on for many hours more because Hidan was unrelenting and Tobi was rather fond of his life, however a presence in the room that arrived so suddenly stopped them both dead. The figure walked into the room and locked the door, sealing Tobi's escape.

"What do you think you're doing, boy?"

* * *

 _RUN TOBI, RUUUUUN_. _Hello again! I hope you've enjoyed the chapter. Now I hate to do this but I'm going to have to put the publishing of the next few chapters off for a couple of weeks. I'm settling in to my third year university house/course so after a little adjusting I'll be back up and putting up more Tobi-loving for you to read!_

 _Until then, if you've made it this far I have to think you're enjoying it so leave me a review to tell me what you think. Who's your favourite character? Who would you like to see more of? What would be your ideal sugar-induced hyperactive Tobi activity? (Lord have mercy...) Until next time and much love,_

 _WhenSarahSmiles_


	5. Chapter 5

Well. I said it would take a couple of weeks to get the next chapter out because I was moving into third year of university. I post this on the last official day of third year of university. I'm sorry it's been so long! I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 5

Tobi froze, forgetting to hold Hidan off as he looked at the newcomer. Fortunately, Hidan seemed equally as shocked and forgot to end Tobi's life too. Neither dared to speak, seeing a cold rage in the newcomer's eyes as he strode over to them, wrapping his hand in the folds of the shower-curtain to yank Hidan away from Tobi before pulling it a little harder to untangle Hidan, leaving him as a wet, naked, partially angry and partially wary boy on the wooden planked floor.

"I'll ask again," he said in a low tone, "What do you think you're doing, _boy_?"

When Tobi realised that the question was directed at him and him alone, a small bubble of terror fizzled in his throat and made him produce quite a jittery, raspy voice when he finally spoke.

"Tobi's here to see you, Kakuzu."

Seeming rather unconvinced, what with his roommate stark naked and growing angrier on the floor beside him, Kakuzu's green eyes seemed to fill with a testing glare. "Are you now? Why do you want to see me?"

Before Tobi could mutter any sort of reply, Hidan leapt up from the floor and snatched the shower curtain from Kakuzu's clingy grip. A cold wind had blown between his legs and it made him feel weird. Perhaps not a bad weird but it would be a year or so more of being an adolescent before he would really know for sure. With the aura of someone wanting to raise hell but being too compromised to do so he wrapped the curtain around his middle, sucked his teeth irritably and said to the room as a whole,

"Do you fucking need me or can I have a fucking shower in peace?"

Neither gave him a response. Tobi thought he had already made too much of a bad impression and did not dare make it worse by saying that yes he should go because the shower curtain was just a little bit see-through, and Kakuzu did not particularly care what Hidan did. Kakuzu had no use for him and rarely paid attention to him unless there was a promise of money – which there sometimes was when Hidan let loose his gambling habits. At that point Kakuzu always became his best friend, finding out where he hid the winnings and then Hidan would always be confused and furious once it was gone the morning after. He never suspected that Kakuzu's new phone, watch, laptop or piece of designer clothing was thanks to him.

When Hidan got no response he tutted angrily, tried to pass Tobi his most threatening glare but the boy was inconveniently looking in every direction but his, then skulked back into the bathroom, throwing the useless shower curtain to the floor as he went. As the door slammed shut, Kakuzu raised his eyebrow at Tobi, expecting an answer.

"Well?"

Tobi picked himself up, scrambling up the side of the closest four-posters until he was standing then shook his head as if to say he was sorry.

"Tobi wanted to know if the race saved the school." Although now was not the time to be so happy, Tobi could not help but think that he was making some progress in becoming Kakuzu's friend. Tobi had said in his first Chemistry lesson that he would make friends with Kakuzu and no matter how scary looking, scary sounding and perpetually angry he seemed, Tobi would do it. "Tobi's sure Kakuzu was good enough to make a lot of money."

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed dangerously and his gaze flickered for the shortest moment to his bed, below which sat many combination-locked briefcases packed with ryo-bills. What Tobi said next was going to decide if he left the room through the door or forcibly out of the window, four storeys up. Kakuzu asked,

"Why do you want to know?"

At the thought of having to confess his shortcomings, Tobi's head hung low. "Tobi told the headmaster he'd save the school but Tobi hasn't got anywhere so Tobi hoped you made enough money to do it instead."

A dark, almost smug laugh made Tobi hold his head up to see Kakuzu grinning so widely that the stitches around his mouth were taut and threatening to snap.

"You have no idea how indebt the academy is, do you boy?"

No, Tobi had no idea but since Kakuzu was smiling and laughing – albeit it in the most spine-tingling and creepy way – he had to make a guess that the academy was not too far from salvation.

"The race made enough?" Tobi said hopefully. As Kakuzu's mocking was clearly going unnoticed by the boy, he gave up the act and resorted to being straight.

"No. Not even slightly," he walked back across to his bedroom door and unbolted it, pulling it wide, "They barely made enough to keep the academy open another term."

Though it was not what he had hoped to hear, the news did not deter Tobi. "But that's a start! We just need more big events to raise more money."

Kakuzu cleared his throat and jabbed his head in the direction of the corridor but Tobi seemed to miss the hint, far too caught up in the ideas of fundraising. Sighing gruffly, Kakuzu marched back into the room until he was behind Tobi, pushing him towards the door with a hand against his back.

"Sure," he said sarcastically, "Or maybe you could knock on the door of every business in Konoha and ask for charity. I'm sure you'll make millions."

Kakuzu did not stop shoving until Tobi was a few feet into the corridor and safely out of his room. With all joking aside, wanting the conversation over quickly because all the talk of money had made him want to count what was under his bed again, Kakuzu said in just as gruff a voice as ever, "Give up, boy. The academy is over. Stop trying and move on."

Before Tobi could say another word the door was slammed in his face then there was the unmistakable sound of a lock being bolted – a sound Tobi was all too familiar with. He stood in the corridor, watching the door for a moment, hoping that Kakuzu would open it and laugh, saying that he was joking and the school was fine and they could be best friends, but when it did not happen he sighed, scooped his hands into the pockets of his trousers and plodded off towards his room. However, as he walked through the corridors, looking out of the windows at the red sky of sunset his mind drifted into a sort of autopilot as a song began to play in his head. Oddly enough, it was the song Hidan had been singing in the shower; one of Pein's many number one hits. As it hugged him in a way only very special songs could do, Tobi realised that he could not give up on his mission so easily. If he really did have to go and knock on every big business in town, pleading for money then he would. He was sure a big record label like Kyuubi Corp. or a global fashion magazine like Mizukage could spare a few ryo here and there. However, as Tobi practiced his best and most pleading expressions, he was hit by another idea. A sudden, brilliant, world-halting idea. It almost annoyed him that he had not thought of it sooner, though it took quite a lot to annoy Tobi so he only damned himself for a second.

It was not the first time Tobi had taken inspiration from his idol, Pein, and it certainly would not be his last. A young Yahiko had pulled himself through the academy, dazzling staff, students and businessmen with his musical talents, was signed on by Kyuubi Corp., changed his name to Pein and brought himself riches and fame. In no time at all he had left Kyuubi Corp. and was making his own record label, making even more money. It was a fool proof plan!

That was it. Tobi had decided. He was going to save the academy by making a band.

Almost at once he began to dance on the spot in the same way small children do when they need to use the bathroom. But Tobi did it merely from excitement and the sudden need to tell Orochimaru face-to-face of his brilliant plan. He turned on his heel and sped off back towards the nearest staircase, a look of determination blazing in his one good eye. However, at the top of the staircase he had a thought and had to stop himself, barely giving himself chance to avoid falling down the steps. Though he desperately wanted to tell the headmaster his plan, he realised there was no way he could. As happy as he was now, he knew that as soon as his eyes landed on Orochimaru's face, his own face would contort into some gruesome look of terror and it would distract everyone from his genius plan. But he had to tell him in person! After all his failures he had to tell Orochimaru in person to see his face and to know his pride.

Before he could see Orochimaru he would have to find Sasori. The mask he had been promised was needed now more than ever. Changing course, Tobi flew down the stairs but did not run off towards the headmaster's office, instead disappearing towards the academy's main reception desk.

Arriving at it a little too quickly, Tobi skidded straight past the hatch on the glossy marble floor and had to catch himself against the edge of the window frame before he tripped and fell. Though the girl behind the window had been busy sorting through folders in a filing cabinet a moment ago, now she was staring wide-eyed at the hatch and was debating shutting it, hoping that Tobi would go away.

"Help!" Tobi yelped, readjusting himself so that he was leaning through the window of the reception over the tops of sticky notes, paperclips and staplers. He read the name on her badge and, knowing that the best way to get someone's full attention was to call their name, he shouted, "Karin! Where is Sasori's room?"

She blinked, a little panic stricken by the very hyperactive, personal-space-invading boy and regretted not shutting the hatch.

"Excuse me?" she asked only because her contract had specifically told her to deal with all manner of asylum-needing students should they come knocking, "Who's Sasori?"

It took him a few moments to explain that Sasori was one of his new best friends at the academy, the academy he loved very much, that he never wanted to leave and would rather die than see close, before Karin shouted over the top of him,

"Sasori _who_?"

She typed a few words into a desktop keyboard then turned the screen to face him. On it there was a list of names with corresponding room numbers. Tobi noticed that all the names had a first and last name and he also noticed that he did not know Sasori's last name. He gave a loud wail, startling Karin by the suddenness of it, deciding that he was an awful, terrible friend. But, figuring he could learn all about Sasori once he knew where he lived and had sleepovers there, he said hopefully,

"Is there more than one Sasori in the school?"

With an eye twitching, Karin swivelled the monitor to face her then typed on the keyboard with almost too much force. With a few clicks of the mouse and a few more words typed, Karin's face relaxed. Little did Tobi know, it was because Karin had realised she was about to be rid of him.

"You're in luck. He's one of a kind." She said, "Fourth floor, room four-one-one."

With no time to lose, Tobi thanked Karin then sped off back towards the dormitories. Well, that was bothersome. He had just been on the fourth floor with Kakuzu in, if he remembered rightly, room four-four-nine. He charged up the flights of stairs taking two at a time until he was back on the fourth floor, hardly breaking a sweat. At the top of the stairs was a small plaque pointing out which rooms numbers were in which direction.

' _400 – 449_ ' was on the right hand side. Drat, Tobi had practically been at Sasori's room when he had left Kakuzu's. He sped off again, determined to find Sasori before it turned to night, though as the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon he had very little time. He could only hope that Sasori stayed up late.

After running for what seemed like an eternity or at least a very long decade, Tobi decided to retract his statement that he had been close to Sasori's room when at Kakuzu's. It took him long enough to reach the end of the corridor. But perseverance was one of his very strongest points and after a long while or perhaps in no time at all he arrived outside room four-one-one. It was a victory all in itself.

Tobi knocked, expecting no reply as that was the common thing in his eyes, only a few seconds later there was a click, the handle rattled and then the door was swung inwards to reveal Sasori in a dark red dressing gown, an open book in one hand and his reading glasses on.

"Tobi," he said in mild surprise, taking in the face of the overly-excited brunette. "What are you—?"

He was cut off by a loud boyish shriek from inside the room. Sasori drew his eyebrows low into a frown, snapping his book shut. "Deidara!"

Tobi heard clattering and clanging as someone made their way to the door then a blond mass of hair poked out from behind Sasori, one eye peering over his shoulder. When Tobi's gaze met with the eye, it shot wide then it stumbled backwards until Deidara was clearly in view, pointing an accusing finger in Tobi's direction.

"How did you find me, yeah? You're bordering on stalker!" He dived sideways, disappearing out of sight then Tobi heard the distinct sound of a thud accompanied by bedsprings. What followed was a loud cry of, "Sasori, get rid of him! I'm not interested!"

All this while Sasori had stayed quiet, but at such a request he had to shake his head in dismay. Calling back into the room he said, "You're going to unbalance yourself with that big head of yours." He turned his attention to Tobi. "Are you here about the mask?"

As Sasori asked it, Tobi was in too much shock over stumbled upon Deidara's – his ultimate best friend's - room to show any sort of conscious listening but when Sasori continued to stare, expecting some kind of an answer, Tobi very quickly pieced together the question.

"Yes, Tobi needs it now," he gave Sasori what he hoped was his most pleading face, "please?"

"Now?" Sasori said with a small chuckle, amused by Tobi's clear insanity. "It's only been a few hours since I said I'd make it. You'll have to wait."

Sasori was quite aware that the only way to deal with someone like Tobi was to be blunt, so before Tobi could protest and whine and give everyone in the surrounding area a headache, he began to shut the door on him. Unfortunately he rather misjudged Tobi's reaction times. Before he could shut the door more than a few inches Tobi had wedged himself in the doorframe, his eyes wide and his jaw hanging low as desperation and upset plagued the boy's face.

" _Pleaaaaaaaaaaase_?" shrieked Tobi, spreading his arms and legs apart until he resembled a starfish in the doorway. "Tobi needs it to talk to Headmaster Orochimaru _noooooooow_."

With Tobi slowly creeping into the room, Deidara – sat cross legged on his bed – suddenly leapt back towards the wall by his headboard, practically gluing himself there to avoid the whirlwind headache of Tobi should he actually make it inside.

"Sasori, make him go away, yeah," he said pleadingly, only to see one of Tobi's arms and his face creep through the room's threshold. Deidara gripped the furthest bedpost away from the door in horror. " _Oh God, make him go away!_ "

Again, finding some amusement in his roommate's panic, Sasori let Tobi slowly inch his way into the room until he heard Deidara give out a terrified squeak. When he was certain that Deidara was going to pass out from fear he threw his book onto his bed then gripped tightly onto one of Tobi's shoulders to halt him.

"You'll have to wait until Monday for the mask," he saw Tobi's disappointed face, knew the boy was about to erupt with some ungodly howling, so he added, "Whatever you need to tell him can wait. He'll still be there on Monday." Tobi's expression softened. "It's the weekend. Why don't you enjoy yourself? Go out with your friends."

Sasori did not notice the sharp intake of breath from Deidara, panicking that Tobi was about to drag him off somewhere to have a play-date. Fortunately, Tobi seemed to have other ideas. As if he had been struck by the happy side of bipolar, the sadness disappeared, replaced by a broad grin. Tobi suddenly thanked Sasori, quickly unlatched himself from the doorframe then was gone as quickly as he had appeared.

Sasori stood a moment more, looking out into the corridor until Tobi's happy giggling had disappeared then shut the door. He turned about to see Deidara unsticking himself from the far wall, seemingly having just missed his dance with death. Sasori could not help but smirk. Deidara was by far a greater idiot than Tobi.

"Well," he said, picking up his reading book once more, "aren't you lucky?"

Deidara was still so frightened that he could hear the pulse beating in the crevice of his ear. But Tobi was gone, and Sasori had somehow gotten rid of him. He decided then and there that he was never going to leave Sasori's side again. His redheaded roommate had just become his first line of defence against the boy named Tobi.

oOo

The next day, a gloriously sunny Saturday, Zetsu was woken in the most unkind and most brutal way considering that he was nursing the hangover of all hangovers… again. His friends certainly new how to party and as he had been the man of the hour, underage or not, they had managed to get him blind-drunk and now his head felt so swollen with a headache that he was sure his brain was going to implode. So when Tobi dived on Zetsu's bed as lively at eight in the morning as he would have been if it were mid-afternoon, screaming that they needed to do something together because they were best friends, Zetsu gave a loud groan, buried his head below the covers and rolled over, hoping to throw Tobi off.

But deep down he knew he had no chance.

Not too much later – definitely not late enough for Zetsu's liking – he was dragged along by Tobi to the local bowling alley, not too far from campus. Although he was all sorts of against it, if he did this with Tobi now then hopefully the boy would leave him alone for the rest of the day or, if he was luckier, the rest of the weekend.

When they arrived at the bowling alley, its doors only just unlocked for the day, Tobi had to stop and stare. For all of his life but for the last few days Tobi had lived in downtown Konoha. Not that downtown Konoha was anything like the slums of downtown Iwa but everything in the uptown part of Konoha seemed, in comparison, bigger. Bigger and flashier and with more money thrown at it. The bowling alley was no exception. Tobi's heart pounded as he looked up at the grand building peppered with flashing neon lights and the image of a large bowling ball with a face, smiling down at him, inviting him in.

"Zetsu, Zetsu, Zetsu," he practically squeaked, clutching at his friend's powder-white hand, inching him closer to the building and with every step gripping tighter in the fear that Zetsu might try to run at the last moment. But he need not have feared. Zetsu went quite willingly into the bowling alley, particularly when a large cluster of students from the academy appeared on the horizon and, even though his black and white skin had been debuted, he found his legs marching in double-time to get him inside and out of view. At the counter they paid for the hour, swapped their shoes then when the cluster of students suddenly appeared in the entranceway, they sped off to the farthest lane from the door with Zetsu claiming that if Tobi bowled five strikes in a row in that specific lane then balloons and streamers would fall from the ceiling, as Tobi had started to whine that they were too far from the arcade games.

Once they had typed their names into the machine and it was Tobi's turn to start the game off, he became so excited that he nearly tripped over his own feet, barely avoiding a head-on collision with the ball-return. The only thing that stopped him was Zetsu's fast hand on the back of his shirt.

"Idiot," Zetsu said gruffly, pulling Tobi back and not letting go until he was standing firmly on both feet. Though when Tobi's face fell into an 'I'm going to wail at you, you mean person' expression he had to crack a grin. It was too easy to wind Tobi up. He let go of Tobi's shirt and like a piece of stretched elastic Tobi pinged back across to the ball-return and quickly began sifting through the balls, trying to find the perfect one that would get him five strikes in a row. He was going to see those streamers falling from the ceiling.

After Tobi found a decidedly good ball and tiptoed his way across to the lane, Zetsu smiled, feeling that perhaps a trip to the bowling alley was not such a bad idea. There were worse ways to spend a weekend, even with the remnants of a hangover lingering in his head like an unwelcomed party guest. However, when he heard the voices of students, looked over to the cluster and spotted someone he had hoped not to see, he quickly looked away and sunk low into the booth with the white side of his face a pretty shade of pink.

Tobi was oblivious. His eyes were locked onto the centre pin, the bowling ball grasped tightly in his hands. He breathed deeply, raising the ball up to head-level then took a step forward, swinging his arm back. Those pins were his. He took another step then threw the ball forward. Luckily for him the bumpers were up. He threw the ball so forcefully that it bounced and bounced from side to side as it flew up the lane. Tobi held his breath as he watched it ping about, not daring to look back to see if Zetsu was watching him. The ball bounced one final time off of the bumpers then hurtled itself sideways into the main bulk of the pins. The clashing sound that came with it echoed through the room. Pins toppled to the floor, thrown backwards and sideways, leaving none standing. It took a moment for the result to hit Tobi but when it did he bounced up and down, hollering and hooting that he only had four more strikes to go before he got to see those streamers.

This was exactly what Zetsu had been dreading. As Tobi whooped and cheered, bouncing about like a yoyo, any eyes with view of Tobi looked over to him and those that did not moved until they saw him. Zetsu sank even lower into his seat then cursed as Tobi bounded up, shouting loudly that it was his turn.

"Thanks…" he grumbled, staying low. But Tobi was not known for his patience. He wanted to carry on with his strike-streak. He hooked his arm around Zetsu's and though the green-haired boy tried to hold himself to the booth, Tobi pulled him up with almost too much ease.

"Go, Zetsu, go!" he said, letting go of Zetsu after hurling him forwards towards the ball-return. Zetsu bounced along on one foot as he attempted to keep his balance then put both hands down on top of the machine to steady himself. He gave a small sigh of relief and looked over to Tobi with a 'you're going to die' look, only he nearly choked when he saw the same group of students filing into the lane next to his, a certain white haired maiden among them. Kaguya Otsutsuki, the most beautiful and one of the most popular girls in the academy. She was the only girl in the group of students and no doubt she was having an all-expenses paid trip out by the legion of adoring boys with her. Zetsu looked away, feeling his cheeks heating up. Oblivious to his sudden nervousness, Tobi, sat waiting and watching in the booth, called loudly to him,

"It doesn't matter if you miss all the pins! Tobi will still love you!"

Zetsu's heart sank as he heard some of the boys in the booth next to them snigger. He had half a mind to turn round and throw the heaviest ball into Tobi's stomach but knew the idiot probably had no idea that he was killing Zetsu's street-cred. Trying to retain his cool composure, Zetsu grabbed the closest ball to him and stepped up to the mark. Though he had picked up a ball with holes too small for his fingers, he bowled it and managed to knock down a respectable eight pins. Then came Tobi's turn. As they swapped places, Tobi hurling himself at the ball-return, Zetsu slunk down into the booth, glancing over briefly into the one next door to glance at Kaguya. Most of the boys were crowded around the name-input so she was by herself, staring down at her phone as she twirled a strand of long silvery white hair between her fingers. Zetsu stared for a moment too long and she sensed the eyes on her. She looked up at him, a small smile dancing on her lips. As his heart jumped into his throat, Zetsu sank down into his seat, the pink stain on his cheeks rather more red than before. Tobi bowled another strike, made even more noise than last time – if that were at all possible – then the pair switched places again. As they passed by each other, Zetsu absentmindedly patted Tobi on the shoulder for a well-done. Tobi beamed. Yes, they were most definitely friends.

As Zetsu stood, choosing the right ball this time, he heard a delicate cough from behind him, as if someone was trying to grab his attention. He turned, picking up a ball, then nearly dropped it when he saw Kaguya looking at him through her big, milky eyes. His face began to burn as if it were on fire but with an attempt at looking cool he said,

"Hey, Kaguya," he could not keep his eyes on her so he had to stare at the bowling ball awkwardly, " 'sup?"

Her fingers traced delicately over the balls in her ball-return as she chose one, "You're Zetsu aren't you? The boy who won the race yesterday?"

Zetsu cleared his throat, nodding when he realised that his voice would crack if he spoke. He turned and made his way to the start of his lane but Kaguya followed with a light ball in her hands until she was stood next to him in her lane.

"You're a very odd colour."

Zetsu swung his arm back, not caring very much whether he hit a pin or not. She was talking to him. Kaguya, who every boy in the academy had a crush on, was talking to him. What she had just said had not been a compliment exactly but he took it as one.

"T-thanks," he said, hurling the ball into the lane, "I did it on a dare."

Kaguya bowled her own ball, watching as it smashed into the front pin and sent all ten to the floor. As the pack of boys erupted into applause, Kaguya smiled foxily to Zetsu.

"A dare? Well, maybe I'll have to dare you at some point then." She winked at him. "And better luck next time."

As she walked away, it took a moment for Zetsu to realise what she had said. He looked into his lane and noticed only the very end pin on the left missing. He turned back to the ball-return and grumbled but only half-heartedly, still a little giddy over his encounter with Kaguya.

When Zetsu returned to his booth, Tobi noticed his gooey-eyed state and hardly knew what to make of it. Zetsu was meant to be a rough, tough, no-talk, all-action gangster. Tobi had to wonder if Zetsu had accidentally hit himself over the head with the ball while he had been busy watching the group of boys in the booth next to him.

"Zetsu, are you okay?"

The black and white boy waited until he was sat down next to Tobi and muttered, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Tobi could only assume that Zetsu was actually upset because he had only hit one pin, so patted Zetsu's shoulder consolingly. He was sure he would do better next time.

"There, there. You'll get the pins next time." he said. Zetsu sighed, questioning Tobi's sanity.

"Jeez, Tobi. Have you never had a thing for a girl before?" Before he had finished asking, he knew the answer. Tobi did not strike him as the type to have a crush on anyone. He was like a puppy who wanted everyone as his friend without a romantic bone in his body. "…Never mind."

oOo

A couple of rounds later, Tobi stared down the bowling lane. After having bowled four successful strikes in a row, he was one away from scoring the elusive five strikes that would send confetti and balloons down from the ceiling, just as Zetsu had told him.

He approached the ball-return and brushed his fingertips over the balls, dipping his fingers into the holes to see which fit perfectly. When a boy from the lane next to him appeared and tried to choose his own ball, Tobi batted his hand away with the determination of one climbing to success. In the booth, Zetsu groaned. He had known his lie would come back to bite him, but how could he have known that Tobi was a natural bowler? If Tobi knocked all the pins down again, and there was no celebration, Zetsu was certain he would never hear the end of the whining and accusations of betrayal.

He looked away, deciding to have his last view before Tobi enveloped him in tears and tantrums be of Kaguya as she twirled long strands of hair between her fingers, laughing at whatever the boys around her were saying. Contently, Zetsu sighed. Then Kaguya stopped laughing. Zetsu followed her gaze as she looked out into the lanes. If only Tobi could have given him just a couple more seconds in peace.

"That's Tobi's ball!" was the cry from by the ball-return. "Tobi needs it!"

Zetsu groaned. The boy in Kaguya's lane looked entirely confused, his fingers slotted into the holes of one particular ball, but that ball had been wrenched from the holder by Tobi, his arms wrapped around it with a grip, Zetsu was sure, no one would be able to release. For a second, the other boy did nothing then he moved as if to try and release his fingers from the ball. In Tobi's eyes, however, he was in the process of stealing it.

"This is _TOBI's ball_!" With an almighty tug, Tobi pulled the ball towards him and span, hoping to free the ball from the boy's grasp. However, with an almighty cracking sound and the screams that followed, it quickly became apparent that Tobi had tugged just too much.

"My fingers! You've broken my fucking fingers!"

With his fingers freed, the boy crippled to the floor, howling and crying in pain. Realising that he had actually hurt the boy, Tobi dropped the ball – barely missing his own feet – and tried his best to apologise.

"Tobi's sorry. Tobi's sorry!"

Zetsu sat in the booth and watched on in horror, aware of the group in the booth beside him rising up to avenge their companion.

"Eh, Tobi…" he muttered, trying to catch his attention without alerting the other boys. "Tobi…"

However, Tobi was far too busy trying to plead for the boy's forgiveness. "Tobi's sorry. Tobi didn't mean to!"

"What do you mean you didn't mean to? You've broken my fingers, you idiot!"

Tobi reached forward to take the boy's hands but he rolled away from the brunette, trying to shield his fingers from any more harm.

Zetsu heard knuckles crack. It was a sound he was far too familiar with. He coughed, hoping to catch Tobi's attention. Nothing. As the boys began to march towards Tobi, Kaguya watching from the booth with no intention of stopping them, Zetsu growled under his breath. He was in two minds whether or not to leave Tobi to face them alone. Ultimately, he knew he would have to run in and save him. He would never hear the end of it if he left Tobi. But he just wished for once that it would stop turning out this way. Tobi was like a bad luck charm.

Avoiding all eye contact with the boys as they began to threaten Tobi, Zetsu collected up his belongings and shuffled into the lane towards the unsuspecting boy.

"Tobi," he mumbled, standing over him as he tried to administer unpractised first-aid, "Tobi, we've got to go."

Tobi looked up at him then, as if it were the first time he had seen him in a long while. The look on his face screamed betrayal.

"Tobi can't go," he exclaimed, suddenly jumping up like the boy at his feet was invisible. "Tobi needs to get another strike."

A quick glance to the side showed the boys looking hostile. "No, Tobi. We've got to go."

Before Tobi was given any time to protest – and Zetsu was sure he would have made one hell of a protest – Zetsu grabbed him around the elbow and yanked him as fast as he could away from the advancing mob.

"But Tobi wasn't _finiiiiiiisshhheeeeddddd_!"

Outside the bowling alley, Zetsu only let go of Tobi when they were half way back to the academy. By now, Tobi had given up protesting and had opted for a low mumbling about how he had not intended to hurt the boy, but that the ball was _his_. Zetsu sagged, looking behind him at the bowling alley in the distance with an air of gloominess hanging over him. After quite a long but quiet rant on Tobi's part, he finally noticed that his friend seemed down.

"Is Zetsu okay?"

Zetsu passed him a glance, hardly able to bring himself to explain that Tobi had ruined his chances with Kaguya and that he could probably never visit the bowling alley in peace again. With a saddened sigh, he said,

"Yeah, don't worry about me."

However, the Zetsu Tobi was looking at did not seem fine at all. Tobi had to worry. He was unsure of what was upsetting him, but he had to find a way to cheer him up and fast. He threw aside his own feelings of upset over missing out on the five-strike bowl – he was sure he could do that another day – and scrunched his face up as he tried to think of the best way to cheer up Zetsu. After a moment, he sprang up and span around, gripping onto the mesh of Zetsu's shirt.

"Would Zetsu like pizza?"

Zetsu raised an inquisitive eyebrow. Tobi? Offering out food? It was a rare occasion. "Umm. Yeah. Sure. Go on, then."

Tobi beamed, seeing Zetsu give somewhat of a smile. He bounced around giddily until he realised a pitfall in his plan. With Tobi being as readable as an open book, Zetsu noticed there was a problem.

"What's wrong?"

In a way, he wished he had never asked. Tobi's face fell into a miserable, tearful state and he flopped against Zetsu's shoulder.

"Tobi doesn't have any pizza."

Of course not, Zetsu thought. It was never that simple. Well, pizza did sound like a good idea anyway and though Tobi had ruined his love life without even realising it, he no longer had a hangover and it had sort of been fun.

Tobi lifted his head up to the sound of Zetsu dialling a number on his phone. He opened his mouth to ask, but Zetsu raised his finger to tell him to stay quiet. After a moment, he spoke.

"Hey. Delivery to the front of Konoha Private Academy. Can I get two large peperoni pizzas, a side of wedges and some fries?"

Tobi's jaw fell open. Zetsu was ordering them – Zetsu and _Tobi_ – food to share together. Like real friends. If one of his eyes did not hurt as much as it did, he would have cried. But it did, so he did his best to suck the tears back in.

If Zetsu had known that Tobi was going to tackle him into the closest bush, shrieking about friendship and unbreakable bonds as soon as he put the phone down, he would definitely have held it to his ear the whole way home.

* * *

 _Well I hope you enjoyed. I would really appreciate any reviews on this piece, and I'll try my best to get the next chapter our ASAP. I have the plan written and ready to go so it's just a matter of typing it up. Review, favourite and follow, and thank you for reading!_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: The characters of Naruto belong to Masashi Kishimoto

* * *

Chapter 6

Tobi left his German class in the springiest of steps, shouting "auf wiedersehen" as loudly as was humanly possible; he had to make sure his entire class heard it. Dashing from the room, he felt invigorated. For the past few days he had been wanting to carry on with his quest to save the school but it was only now that he could finally face Orochimaru again. Today, Tobi was getting his mask.

He eyed Sasori's school timetable at this point – one he'd acquired from Karin with a lot of persistent nagging – and saw he had woodwork, which he already knew, but the timetable failed to tell him a room number. He had never had to venture to the woodwork rooms before and had absolutely no idea where they were. Regardless, ran through the academy's lower hallways in a desperate search. There were a few minutes left before the lunch bell was due to ring so by Tobi's calculations, he had even fewer minutes to catch Sasori. If he had learnt one thing about the redhead, it was that he didn't wait around.

' _Wait for Tobi. Wait for Tobi. Wait for Tobi—'_ he thought desperately, running as fast as he could in a pair of restricting school trousers. Yes, of course he was unfathomably proud to wear the academy's uniform but he wished it was just slightly more elasticated; springy, like he was. His trouser legs felt like cardboard and it was almost impossible to go as fast as he wanted to.

Charging blindly was one of his specialities and he did it so well. Sometimes he could even do it in places he knew and end up somewhere he didn't. Luck, however, was on his side. At least for today. Whenever he turned in the wrong direction something stopped him and sent him fleeing the other way, whether it was an angry looking wasp, a crowd of students blocking his path or an oddly placed, far too life-like portrait of the headmaster glaring at him from a wall.

Soon the air filled with the sound of bandsaws and sanders and he knew he was in the right place. The woodwork building was a separate structure that held most of the Trade subjects: woodwork, metalwork, graphic products, electrical engineering and so on. The students were easy to pick out across campus because they often walked around in overalls, a different colour for each subject. Tobi had never seen Sasori in his overalls but he was sure it would be easy enough to find him with that stark red hair of his.

Tobi pulled open the front door to the building and scampered in with overenthusiastic hope - only then he stopped dead. A sea of purple, blue, orange and white overalls danced in front of him as students scurried across departments, busily toing and froing with spanners and mallets, all wearing hard hats and masks. They were identical but for the colour of their clothes. Drat.

Without sparing a second to think logically, Tobi ran to the nearest classroom and pressed his face to the glass of the door, frantically seeking Sasori. He saw a dozen white overalls, hats and masks and no strands of loose hair to give him a clue. The workbenches, however, were filled with circuit boards and soldering irons.

He let out a wail that startled everyone around him, the closest few dashing away in case he turned around and happened to be holding a blunt weapon. He carried on, dashing from door to door. For those unfortunate doors without a window in them, Tobi threw them open instead, leaving them to wobble unhappily on their hinges as he peered inside. It was scary at the best of times to have a boy with a bandaged face break into the room, but one that broke in with a deranged look of somewhere between happiness and a breakdown on his face was enough to make the occupants of classroom 3B brandish their handsaws in defence.

"Sasori?" he asked hopefully, ignoring the person creeping towards him, wobbling their saw as if to ward him off. He might have believed it was Sasori himself had it not been for the rather prominent lumps in the person's overalls, suggesting that they were definitely not male. Fortunately for the students who had lost their ability to speak, the teacher had boastable experience in dealing with the lunatics of the academy.

"There's no one here by that name."

Tobi protested. It was a woodwork classroom. The students were in blue overalls – blue overalls, he made a mental note, meant Sasori – so he had to be here. He was sure it was just a matter of doffing a few hardhats before he found him. "Can Tobi just double check?"

He inched into the room, his face plastered in innocence. It sent terrible shivers up the students' spines and the teacher rose to intervene. Luckily for all those involved, someone clamped a firm hand down on Tobi's shoulder before he could do any damage. Tobi looked, only slightly worried that he might see the headmaster's face when he did but was happy – more than happy; ecstatic – to see Sasori instead.

"Sasori," he gasped, turning in one motion to clamp his arms around the redhead in a hug. Sasori countered, moving sideways to avoid the squeezing then readjusted his hold on Tobi as the boy stumbled past him. Directing his voice towards the teacher, he said,

"Sorry. I'll take him off your hands." The teacher gave him a gratified nod then turned to reassure his class that they were safe for another day. Out in the corridor, Tobi noticed something important about Sasori's attire.

"Where's Sasori's overalls?" he said accusingly. Sasori looked down at his normal school uniform then pulled back the sleeve of his blazer to check his watch. It was a sophisticated thing with more hands than was necessary. More than Tobi could ever dream of affording. It would probably fetch more than his family's house was worth in auction.

"I finished a while ago. There was no point waiting."

The bell rang then and students began to spill into the corridor, ready for their lunch break. Eagerly, Tobi bounced on the balls of his feet, taking one of Sasori's hands in both of his then shook it vigorously.

"Did Sasori finish his project?"

Sasori had to chuckle slightly. He wondered how Tobi could doubt him at all. Lifting the lid from his satchel, he pulled out something large and orange. "Here. I hope it's suitable. And good luck with the headmaster."

He handed it over then patted Tobi's shoulder, disappearing into the crowd before he had to face the brunt of Tobi's reaction. If no one else had, Sasori had wised up to Tobi and easily predicted his overly-flamboyant, extra loud actions.

Tobi turned the orange thing over. Over and over, his smile growing as he took in its appearance. Strikingly bright, the mask was oval-shaped with a spiral pattern that stemmed from the eye hole. _Hole_. Singular. He traced it with his finger then touched the bandage covering his eye. Well, at least Sasori had drilled the hole into the right side. Otherwise Tobi would be meeting Orochimaru blind.

Although the idea pleased him a little, not having to look at the headmaster at all, he was certain something would go wrong if he couldn't see. Chaos liked to follow him. Or so he naively thought, unaware that he himself was almost always the chaos.

Tobi strapped the mask to his face.

oOo

At first, Orochimaru couldn't tell who had burst through his office door. They were a blur of orange and the colours of the academy's uniform but then suddenly, when they started to talk, Orochimaru quickly placed a face to the fast-paced pubescent voice even though his face was hidden.

"Tobi, my boy. A pleasure as always," his tone cut through Tobi's rambling, stopping him short of actually introducing himself. "How may I be of assistance?"

It was either because he did not care or did not want to know, but Tobi was saved the ordeal of explaining the mask to Orochimaru. Instead, he said excitedly, "Tobi can save the school! He knows what to do!"

If he believed Tobi, Orochimaru did not show it. He had heard many a proposal and all had fallen short; half-baked ideas that needed a bank-loan just to get them going. Nevertheless, sat in his ornate, hand-carved throne of a chair, he laced his skeleton-like hands together and listened.

Beneath the mask, Tobi's face was a grotesque mess of terror. It was one thing to fear the devil, another to proposition it when so much was at stake. Tobi found it difficult to keep his thoughts together in one neat bundle. The mask helped, though, like a barrier that kept the fleeing thought from straying too far.

"Tobi will start a band," he said, trying not to let his nerves get the better of him. Orochimaru cocked a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"A band?"

Tobi nodded. The more he spoke, the smaller the room became around him. The more Orochimaru's aura crept up on him like the plague. But his mask was a vaccine. "Yahiko did it. He did it alone and he's rich now. Tobi could do it too. If Tobi made an album he'd get money every time it sold."

Orochimaru stayed quiet. His eyebrows curved down into a frown as he rested his chin atop his laced hands. Tobi was quiet, too. For the first time in a long time. He was certain of his plan and was ready to defend it if he had too. Finally, Orochimaru said,

"You said a band. There are others to do this with you?"

Tobi nodded as fast as his neck would let him. "Yes."

Or at least, there would be soon. He had yet to ask anyone to join the band but he had a few people listed to talk to just as soon as Orochimaru gave him the all-clear. The headmaster leaned back, puffing out his chest before releasing a long, deep breath. It seemed, for once, that he did not hate the idea.

"Tobi, my boy," he said softly, his lips curling at the edges in a way that made Tobi quiver. He paused, then smiled. "Show me what your band can do. I'll be watching closely. I can provide you with equipment but I expect results soon."

Tobi's heart bounced. It ricochet around his ribs like a pinball, only landing back in place when the headmaster's reply had sunk in. "Y-you think Tobi can do it?"

"It," Orochimaru chose his words wisely, "has potential. If you show me yours then I will show you mine."

Tobi had no idea what Orochimaru was going to show him but he was sure he didn't want to know. Nevertheless, the headmaster was trusting him. He leapt up from his seat, giddy with excitement, and hollered as he headed for the door. "Tobi won't let you down. Tobi won't let anybody down!"

Orochimaru rose gracefully from his chair in acknowledgement of Tobi's leaving, then when he was gone and the door had swung closed, he slinked back into his seat, resting his face in one hand as his eyes wandered to look out of the academy's window towards uptown Konoha where the rich flew kites made from 1,000 Ryo bills.

He reached for the phone sat on his desk, the receiver black and peppered with dust, then produced a black notebook from his pocket and began to dial.

oOo

As the final bell rang to signal that lunch was over, Deidara slumped into his music classroom, breathing deep as he enjoyed the last few moments of peace before the headache-whirlwind Tobi appeared.

Music was not his favourite subject but it did rank high enough on his list to dedicate a fairly large portion of his time to it. Time, unfortunately, that now included Tobi. Music and Tobi came hand-in-hand for him and although he hated the thought, and the idea of Tobi slowly but surely wedging himself into Deidara's life made his skin crawl, he couldn't deny that the boy could play. But he could also talk. And whine. And sing like a helium-filled, dying hippo. Only a few months to go, though, and he could part ways.

The happiness that came with this thought was quickly extinguished just as the classroom door burst open in a way that could only occur when Tobi was around. Deidara sighed and fell into his seat but when he looked to check the door, he saw Tobi in the most ridiculous orange mask.

"What the hell is that, yeah?"

"Tobi calls it the fear-be-gone mask!" said Tobi, bounding over to take the seat next to Deidara. Of course. Why hadn't he realised that in the first place? How stupid of him. Part of Deidara wanted to know what that actually meant, but the larger, more sensible part of him beat the curious side of him down with a hammer.

"Cool, yeah." His safest bet was to act casual. He didn't want to give Tobi any excuse to start a conversation. It was hard to tell what face Tobi was pulling under the mask but by the way his body went ridged and the way he started to twiddle his fingers, Deidara had to imagine that he was grinning like an idiot with stars in his eyes. Damn.

"Deidara… thinks Tobi's mask is cool?"

No. Not even slightly. Oh god, not even a tiny bit. "Hey. Wait, no, yeah. What I meant was—" Tobi threw his arms around Deidara, catching him by the neck so he could hold Deidara to him in a way that made the rest of the room stare, some giggling and sniggering behind their hands. "Tobi's so glad Deidara likes Tobi's mask! Tobi will ask Sasori to make another one so we can have matching best-friend masks and everyone will know we're friends!"

" _That's_ what Sasori made you—hey, no. We are _not_ best friends. We aren't even friends, yeah. Get off me you psycho-" but Deidara's pleas fell on deaf ears as Tobi hugged him like a heavy-handed child with a bunny, oblivious to or ignoring the blond's attempts to escape. He was only rescued when Arashi appeared to take attendance and asked politely if Tobi would stop trying to murder him. After a moment of wailing, where Tobi exclaimed he would never hurt Deidara, he let go. There was spluttering, coughing and hacking and then not for the first time, Deidara requested to be put in a different project group. He would play the triangle if he had to but he wanted out.

"No, Deidara," Arashi said with a smile. "For the last time, Tobi is your partner. The others would kill to be paired with such a good percussionist."

"They can have him, yeah."

Tobi pulled his mask off only to show Deidara the upset and betrayed look on his face, a puppy that Deidara had abandoned. "Tobi needs you!"

Deidara snapped back, "Tobi needs a psychiatrist, yeah."

Raising his hands to shush them, Arashi announced in the least pacifistic voice he could muster, "Alright. Alright. That's enough. Everyone scram. You've all got work to be getting on with."

The students rose, disappearing into the store-rooms and music booths to carry on with their projects. Tobi collected his things and dashed off towards his practice room and Deidara followed, not before passing a glare to Arashi who countered it with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

"I'll be watching, Deidara. I'll fail you if you try to kill him."

Though he had not put much thought to the idea, Deidara still cursed now that he definitely had no get out strategy. Hoisting his guitar-case up over his shoulder, he followed Tobi, running his hand through his long blond hair and down his face with a sigh.

When he entered the practice room, Tobi was already loosening up his hands as he worked over the drum-kit, banging and clanging and clashing the symbols in a pleasant, un-Tobi-like way. If Deidara closed his eyes, he could imagine playing alongside a cool, friendly rocker. Then Tobi's voice cut in.

"Deidara. Deidara! Tobi needs to ask you something!"

That never meant anything good. He looked to the door, wondering if he could get it open and run before Tobi tackled him in one of those 'don't leave me' hugs, but realised with Arashi on Tobi's side he had no hope left. "…What, yeah?"

Tobi put his drumsticks down and beamed. "Will Deidara be in Tobi's band?"

The room fell silent. Deidara stared. He stared again. He stared some more. Then in one sharp syllable to stop the discussion he said, "No."

"But whyyyyyyyyy?" The tone of his voice rattled through Deidara like a banshee's howl. That was why. How anyone else could be in an actual band with him astounded him.

"Who else is in it?" He had to ponder aloud. If anyone was stupid enough to be in a band with Tobi, he wanted to know who so he could keep well away. Without a second's hesitation Tobi replied, "No one."

And the mystery was solved.

"What are you doing, trying to make a band, yeah? Is one music project not enough for you?" Deidara wanted this project to be over. There was no way he was signing up to do another one with _him_. Tobi struck a drum, his smile larger than before. "Tobi needs a band to save the school."

He sounded like a broken record. Every day he seemed to think of a new scheme and Deidara heard about almost all of them. At first, Deidara had humoured him but now it was clear he was as hopeless as everyone else. "Another one, yeah? Give up."

"No," Tobi shook his head, too happy to be downhearted by Deidara's lack of enthusiasm, "Tobi can do it this time. The headmaster approves."

Deidara, whilst unzipping his guitar-case, forgot himself and dropped it. He span to face Tobi, visible eye huge. "He did what? You spoke to him?"

Tobi tapped his mask proudly and nodded. "Tobi did. And the headmaster said to show him what we could do."

If the race was anything to go by, when Orochimaru backed an idea, he backed the idea. So what was he thinking? Did he really think Tobi would achieve anything? Clearly the headmaster had no idea who he was dealing with. Shrugging, deciding it was better for the headmaster to learn the hard way like everyone else did, he reached down to pick up his guitar. He pulled it from the bag then threw the strap over his shoulders. Tobi stayed quiet, which was unusual. Though it was against his better judgement, he passed the boy a glance. What he saw was one large, pleading eye that's effect was only mildly lessened by the fact his other eye was hidden by a bandage. "…so will Deidara join Tobi's band and save the school?"

"No."

The sound that followed was even worse than his wailing. There was no name for it but it hurt Deidara's ears to the point that no medication was going to solve his headache.

"Why?" Tobi insisted. "Don't you want to save the school? Does Deidara want to be moved to a different school, away from his friends?"

Deidara was almost certain that when Tobi said friends he was referring to himself. He forced himself not to correct that delusion. "Sure. But like hell you're going to pull it off, yeah. It'd take a miracle."

Luck, and miracles for that matter, were on Tobi's side today. Just as the last syllable left Deidara's mouth, the door to the practice room flew open. Arashi stood, looking unimpressed. "Deidara, what did I say about trying to kill him?"

Deidara's mouth dropped, shocked that he was being accused. "Leave off, Sir. It's him with the issue."

'Him' was alternating between wailing and mumbling about Deidara being a terrible friend and his quest to save the school. Arashi passed him a quizzical stare then held up a hand.

"Calm down." Tobi did. "What's the matter?"

Like a child half his age, Tobi pointed a finger at Deidara – someone who wasn't appreciating all of these accusations – and said, "Deidara won't join my band."

"A band?" Arashi raised both eyebrows, passing glances between Deidara and Tobi as he attempted to assess the situation. "What do you mean? What kind of band?"

Arashi failed to notice a blue eye begin to glare at him, hoping to steer him off the subject. Tobi, however, was happy to find another person who actually seemed interested in his plan. "A rock band."

"Oh, fantastic!" He said, beaming. He always encouraged enthusiastic pupils, particularly when he thought their extra-curricular would help their studies. "How long have you been together?"

Deidara cut in, "he's got nothing."

"Not yet!" Tobi added, undeterred.

"Oh, I see. You want to set one up." Arashi nodded approvingly. It was nice to have a pupil so dedicated for once. Speaking of which, his gaze moved slowly to fall on Deidara in a rather more unsettling way. "And why don't you want to join?"

"I-I—" Deidara backed up, feeling cornered once again. "This project is enough."

Arashi pursed his lips together for a moment then said slowly as cogs whirred in his mind. "In your current project neither of you are singing, are you?"

"Y-yes?" Deidara wasn't sure how to answer. He had never seen Arashi look so devious and it threw him off. "The piece doesn't need a singer."

Arashi clasped his hands together, grinning, then said, "Perfect."

By now, neither Tobi nor Deidara knew what was going on. They stole a glance at each other, waiting on an explanation. 'Perfect' was probably far from the truth. And it was, for Deidara. When it came, Tobi gasped and he groaned. "You've got no choice but to make a band then."

"What, yeah?" Deidara couldn't believe his ears.

"If you're looking to get a high mark on this project, you need to do something more complex. A tune and a percussion won't get you much, especially without lyrics. If you make a band, you can make a multi-layer, multi-harmony piece."

Deidara's head filled with static. There was a white noise but in the background, Tobi cheered and chirped happily. This wasn't his day and he hoped, dear Lord he hoped, that he was about to wake up his bed and realise he'd been having a nightmare. Unfortunately, this nightmare had been going on for weeks. And it was all Sasori's fault.

Suddenly, Deidara smiled. If Arashi expected him to be in a band that had to mean it was extra-curricular. Which meant non-music students could join. Which meant Deidara could force his music-abandoning roommate to join and act as a Tobi-repellent.

His smile turned to a grin. "I'll do it. You want a band, yeah? I'll give you one. I've got just the person to help."

* * *

 _No time to talk, I'm on a roll! Chapter 7 is on the way. Give me a review, let me know what you think, and follow to get the latest chapter updates!_

 _Peace 'til next time!_

 _WhenSarahSmiles_


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The characters of Naruto belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

* * *

Chapter 7

Tobi couldn't sit still. Tobi could never sit still, actually, but now in particular he fidgeted and twitched, coming within near-misses of the test tube rack as Kakuzu steadily added a pipet's worth of hydrogen peroxide to a tube. Since the incident in his room Kakuzu had not spoken to Tobi, by his own doing naturally, but as the boy wriggled about and his arms shot out in random spasms, tiny veins pulsed along Kakuzu's forehead. Tobi was oblivious to him, though, darting his head around every few minutes to look at the back of the classroom where Deidara was sat with Sasori, huddled over their experiment.

Notably, all of the chemicals were on Sasori's side of the bench and it seemed Deidara was only permitted to watch. Nevertheless he looked focused and occasionally muttered something even though Sasori only ever shook his head in response.

Tobi fidgeted further, riddled with the need to know what they were talking about. He was on the cusp of getting a band together and it was in Deidara's hands to rope in a recruit willing to sing. Tobi had been more than willing to do it himself but Deidara firmly insisted that he would rather have his arms torn off.

Across the classroom, there was a sudden loud gasp and a foaming sound. Tobi looked just as Aoi, sporting a long white lab-coat with his hair tied back in a spiky ponytail, strode through the room with a smile.

"Brilliant, well done you two. See? This is what happens when you mix hydrogen peroxide with yeast and washing up liquid." A thick white foam spewed from one pair's test tube at the back of the room, so much so that it had spilled over the sides and was seeping down the outside of the glass like a waterfall.

It was enough to distract Tobi. Most experiments were lost on him but something about foam and bubbles appearing from nowhere made all strands of thought turn to discovering a way to make more.

Kakuzu nearly toppled sideways when Tobi lurched across the bench to grab at the washing up liquid and the hydrogen peroxide. He wobbled on his stool until he noticed Tobi reach for the test tube.

"Don't even think about it, boy."

The dark tone of his voice, and the fact Tobi hadn't heard him speak in quite some time, spooked Tobi into staying still more so than the actual threat could.

"But Tobi wants to make a big, foam cloud!"

Wordlessly, Kakuzu pulled the test-tube towards himself, closely followed by the yeast, and set them both on his side furthest away from the brunette. Rather than being deterred, however, it made Tobi believe he had the right to talk.

"Kakuzu," he said, suddenly puffing his chest out proudly. "Guess what?" Kakuzu did not guess. "Tobi's going to save the school." A steely sideways glance was passed but still nothing was uttered. "Tobi has friends to help him now."

Tobi received more than just a steely glance this time. Disbelief and the phrase _you're a liar_ swirled in Kakuzu's glare. It even broken his silence. "And who might these friends be?"

Tobi didn't catch the disbelieving tone. He pointed over his shoulder, waggling his finger in Deidara and Sasori's direction. With mild interest, Kakuzu followed the finger. He knew well that Deidara despised Tobi and Sasori preferred easy situations. So why on earth was Tobi pointing at them?

He returned his attention to the experiment, aware of the dangers of being involved with the hyperactive boy. Word travelled fast and Kakuzu made it his business to learn information for leverage. An hour after Tobi's scuff up at the bowling alley, Kakuzu heard about it. Only half an hour for him to find out about Kisame punching him in the face. Tobi meant trouble and Kakuzu wasn't going to be part of it.

But Tobi wanted him to be part of it. "We're making a band." Kakuzu held the can of yeast over the test tube and gently tapped it, edging the granules forward. "And the headmaster is supporting us."

When Kakuzu dropped the can in surprise the contents spilled into the test tube, setting off the chemical reaction in a rather more extreme way. The bubbles frothed up immediately, spilling up out of the tube in great quantities as it ate through the materials. The boys lifted their workbooks and pens up out of the way as the thick froth spilled and pooled over the desk. Tobi grinned. It was an even bigger bubbly mess than he had planned on making.

"Yay, Kakuzu!"

"No, not _yay, Kakuzu,_ " interjected Aoi, rushing over to take the test tube away to a sink. "This, students, is what happens when you add too much of certain components. Everything in moderation, that's the key."

The tube was left to bubble. Tobi and Kakuzu threw towels over the pooled foam and wiped it away as best they could. Kakuzu could hardly believe Orochimaru was backing anyone's ambitious attempt to save the academy, let alone Tobi the Hapless Wonder's. He slowed in his cleaning, eyeing the brunette for a moment as if to finally weigh him up, then glanced over his shoulder to the bright-haired-pair. Whatever they were planning, Orochimaru saw potential. If Orochimaru saw potential, even if Kakuzu couldn't see it, he knew it was there. He had to watch them closely from now on. He could smell money.

At the end of class, when Aoi had forced everyone to pack away for fear someone would set his laboratory alight again, or submerge it in a foamy mess, Tobi bounded over to Deidara and Sasori. One was far more welcoming than the other although that was not difficult when Deidara glared at Tobi the moment he moved towards them, backing away behind Sasori before the brunette could touch him. He didn't touch him often. But when he did… he did.

"Tobi," Sasori nodded in greeting. Tobi nodded back, perhaps too vigorously for someone who wasn't a bobble-head, then went straight to his point. He had survived the whole of class without asking, without demanding to know what they had been talking about, but now he had to know.

"Did you decide?" he asked merrily. This was directed at Deidara. He was reluctant to talk. He had spent most of his life avoiding idiots and yet this idiot seemed to slowly be worming his way into his life.

"Yeah, yeah. Well. Sort of," he tapped Sasori on the shoulder. This quite obviously meant he was tapping out of the conversation and it was his roommates turn to take over but Sasori simply looked at him with a blank expression.

"Carry on," Sasori added as if to drive the knife into Deidara. It was a subtle thing at times, Sasori's smirk, but one of Deidara's many talents was noticing it even when it was only a minutely upturned lip. If looks could kill.

If looks could kill, no doubt Sasori would swat it away like a harmless fly, actually. Deidara rather hated feeling powerless and looked down upon and right now Sasori was making him feel both these things. It made him want to speak to Tobi just to think of other things. Only Sasori could make him want to talk to Tobi.

"Well," Sasori's smirk was triumphant, "Sasori says he'll join the band, yeah." The redhead had to pull his hand away from Tobi as the boy suddenly lunged to hug it happily, singing his praises. Sasori raised an eyebrow in Deidara's direction, telling him to carry on before Tobi exploded in what would undoubtedly be a display of joy, glitter and rainbows. "He won't sing."

Though it was only for the briefest moment, Tobi's smile faltered. Arashi had made it very clear to the pair of them that if they could not find a singer, they would score poorly in their assessment. Not only that but it would be easier to collect fans if they weren't just an instrumental band. Tobi didn't necessarily want to rope in fans by going mainstream – he wanted fans that truly loved the music he wanted to make – but for now he was willing to cut corners if it meant reaching his school-saving goal quicker. "What will Sasori play then?"

The pair passed each other a glance, both trying to decide who the question was directed at because Tobi always spoke from an unusual perspective, then Sasori took the floor. "I don't mind. I can play a few different instruments but I'd say I'm best with a piano."

Tobi's eyes lit up. Yes, he thought, a piano suited Sasori perfectly. As far as his friends went, he was definitely the most sophisticated and subtle. If anyone could make the heart flutter by pressing a few keys, it would be him. And a good thing too. Until now, Tobi had not realised he wanted the band to have a piano. But now he knew they absolutely needed it and would fail without one.

"You're hired!" Tobi blurted out, grabbing – successfully, this time - Sasori's hand to shake it like they had just struck a deal.

"Hired?" Deidara said incredulously as Sasori chuckled. "Don't make it sound like we're giving him a job. He'll ask for money!"

"No," Tobi said apologetically, "Tobi can't afford to pay you but please stay! We need you!"

With Tobi wiggling his arm around so much, panic filling his face at the thought of Sasori deserting them, the redhead noticed Tobi was close to wiggling his arm right out of its socket. "Don't worry. I'll work for free. I want something to fill my free time and this is as good as any."

Well, the flippant attitude needed to be worked on but overall Tobi was glad they had a new band member, even if they were no closer to finding a singer. Deidara wouldn't do it, Sasori wouldn't do it and Deidara definitely wouldn't let Tobi do it so who else was there?

"Does Sasori know anyone who can sing?"

The bell rang and students began to file from the room. Suddenly someone coughed and continued to cough until Tobi looked over. They stopped abruptly. It was Kakuzu. He paused for a moment then packed up his things and left.

"That wasn't subtle," Sasori mused, watching him disappear through the door. Tobi furrowed his brows,

"What wasn't?" he pondered, staring at the place where Kakuzu had just been. Ignoring him, Sasori said to Deidara, "Can Kakuzu sing?"

Deidara shrugged with a laugh, making his way to the door with the others following. "Can he even speak?"

Deidara knew that he and Kakuzu followed the same principle to never talk to idiots if they could avoid it. However, Deidara was unaware that Kakuzu also considered him an idiot. Following that train of thought, from Kakuzu through to idiots, Deidara had a sudden, genius idea.

"Hey, I know who can sing!" Then he seemed to catch himself. "Oh, no. Wait, never mind. He wouldn't, yeah." But his sudden spurt of enthusiasm latched onto Tobi like wildfire on a dry bush and the boy picked up on his thoughts.

"Kakuzu's roommate!"

Sasori seemed to be on the same page as Deidara. "Bury that idea. Hidan won't do it."

The wildfire roared. Tobi knew that persistence was key. He had experienced Hidan's singing voice first hand and if Hidan didn't agree the first couple of times, he would do eventually.

Even Deidara became aware of the cogs ticking away in Tobi's brain. "Don't bother. You're persistent but he's a stubborn arsehole like one this world has never known, yeah."

The warnings were there but Tobi was never one to listen to things like that.

oOo

Hours later, when the bell rang for the final lesson of the day and when Tobi made his way into the changing rooms for Athletics, he was shocked and horrified to find that Hidan had skipped class. He had stopped himself from knocking down—on. Knocking on Hidan's bedroom door over lunch because he had thought Hidan might be a lot more favourable if Tobi did not hunt him out like a predator. The plan had been to see him naturally in their only shared class, with the topic brought up only at the end of session when Hidan would be too tired to chase Tobi down and attack him.

Tobi tried very little to hide his disappointment, slumping down on the bench next to Deidara as the blond pulled a rugby shirt down over his young but defined stomach. Noticing the ball of gloom next to him, Deidara edged away but offered him an ear.

"What's the matter, yeah?"

The shock of Deidara actually being concerned for Tobi nearly snapped him straight out of his misery. He jostled his head sideways to look at the blond, his eyes glimmering with gratitude. "Deidara wants to know how Tobi is?"

Tobi didn't wait to hear the answer. Though, in comparison to how he was feeling now, the issue of Hidan's absence felt trivial. "Tobi wanted to talk to Hidan in class."

Deidara pulled up a thick, over-the-knee sock and then the other. "About joining the band?"

Tobi nodded, opening his school bag to pull out his outdoor gym kit. As he proceeded to change into it, he did not notice Deidara staring long and hard as he made quick decisions in his head. When he was done, he waited until Tobi was stuck with his rugby top over his head then said,

"You might… be able to find Hidan in the Student's Union bar later. He'll be there now but I don't suppose you'll want to skip, yeah."

Deidara was only glad he had waited for Tobi to become untangled in his clothes because as predicted, at the sound of this news Tobi began to flail as he produced a number of happy squeaks. "Thank you, Deidara," he said, still flailing, desperately trying to pull his head through the correct hole as Deidara made sure to put at least two other students between the pair of them. "That helps Tobi a lot! Tobi knew Deidara cared about him. Thank you—"

Tobi's head appeared through the correct hole and without looking he dove to hug who he believed to be Deidara, only a very surprised looking Jirobo took the hit instead. When Tobi's arms failed to reach the whole way around the body, he realised he had gone wrong somewhere and released the bewildered boy, apologising loudly.

Deidara sighed in relief, wiping a small bead of sweat from his brow.

oOo

Once Athletics had ended, Tobi dashed towards the Students Union bar without saying good bye to even Deidara. He had never had reason to visit the Students Union bar before as it was mostly filled with college and university level students and those of legal drinking age, and the prospect excited him a little.

Following the stream of staggering older students, he found the bar in almost no time at all. This was mostly due to it being so close to the Athletics department. It was common practice for the physical therapy undergraduates to leave their classrooms only to flop down in the bar and not leave until they were loud and unruly at 2AM.

Tobi peered cautiously into the bar, glancing around for Hidan. The room had a rustic feel to it with wooden panels covering the walls and booth dividers as naked bulbs dangled overhead. It was a surprise to see an area like this in the academy when Orochimaru prided himself on aesthetics. It felt like the place students slinked away to when they had given up on their studies and decided their life goals were to become hookers and mobsters. To Tobi, it felt just like home.

He merrily pranced into the bar, his school bag hoisted over one shoulder and peered as far around the room as he could without really moving at all, then when he could not locate Hidan he sank himself into the closest free booth and pulled out his German homework.

"Ich liebe dich. Du liebst mich. Sie liebt ihn." Tobi mumbled as he jotted down the answers as quickly as if German was his second language. It was difficult to see the papers clearly in the light of the high-fitted lights but he continued until he was hit by a headache and had to put his pen down. Rubbing his eyes, Tobi packed his work away then walked around the room to the bar. As he came close, he noticed a tall tanned girl with legs like lollipop sticks and the back of a shorter boy with silver hair. The girl looked bored.

Upon closer inspection, when he heard the casual addition of a swear every few words, he realised who the boy was.

"Hidan!" he said excitedly, tapping him on the shoulder. This did not seem to please Hidan. He went as stiff as a board and turned his head ever so slightly in Tobi's direction.

"Piss off."

Tobi's mouth dropped open. He was shocked—no, appalled! Friends did not swear at friends. That, and Tobi felt he hadn't done anything to warrant such a reaction. About to react in his most Tobi like manner, puffing his chest up so that he could produce his loudest whine, he was forced to stop when a bartender appeared next to him and said, "What'll it be?"

Tobi deflated like a balloon, spinning on his toes to face the bar. "A pint of coke, please!"

"Sure thing," she said, reaching up to grab a branded glass from overhead. As Tobi waited for his drink to be poured, fumbling through his pockets to find some money, he overheard Hidan talking to the girl. Though he could not see Hidan's face, he imagined he was pulling a face that would make all the girls swoon like they did in Athletics when he had pulled his shirt up.

"Hey, keep this quiet," Hidan mumbled to her, "but I'm totally naked under all these clothes."

There was a pause as what he had said filtered through the girl's head, then all of a sudden she laughed and patted Hidan on the shoulder. "That's so funny!"

Funny or not, Tobi thought to himself, he had matters to discuss with Hidan and if he was trying to make that girl his girlfriend, she was much too old for him anyway. "Hidan! Join Tobi's band so we can save the school."

Hidan gave him a proper glance this time, his eyes rolling with venom. "No. Fuck off, Tobi. I'm busy and I wouldn't join your fucking band anyway."

The girl looked at Tobi, cocking one eyebrow. It was not often that she saw cute little boys in eyepatches. "You're starting a band? Hey, what's your name?"

Tobi opened his mouth to speak but Hidan rounded on him, his eyes filled with the full rage of hell, silently telling him to back down or he was dead more literally than figuratively. Tobi didn't get the message. "Tobi's name is Tobi! It's nice to meet you. What's your name?"

"Well aren't you polite?" the girl said affectionately, looking at Tobi in a way a mother might look at her new-born baby, "I'm-"

"Okay, Tobi," Hidan said, quickly changing tactics before he lost his chance at a hook-up altogether by plastering his face with a strange, forced smile that made Tobi shudder slightly. "Go sit down and I'll come talk about the band when I'm done here. Got it?"

There was a lot more emphasis on 'got it' than was needed but Tobi did in fact get it. Happy bubbles filled him up until it pushed the biggest grin onto his face. Nodding like a bobble head, he waved good bye to the girl then took his drink and scarpered back to his booth before Hidan changed his mind. Knocking back the coke to tackle the remainder of his headache, Tobi pulled his homework out once more and left off from where he had stopped, leaning out of the booth every few moments to see how Hidan was getting on.

The girl seemed far more enthusiastic about Hidan now, laughing as he spoke to her and talking back. Tobi made a mental note that she would make a good friend too and if Hidan did not make her his girlfriend then they could at least be buddies.

As Tobi thought these merry thoughts, scribbling answers into his Chemistry workbook, a sudden shout redirected his attention. He peered his head out of the booth to where Hidan was, only to see three burly, scarred and dangerous looking boys there, one with his hand firmly planted on Hidan's shoulder. Hidan looked awkward.

Tobi scooped up his things again, stuffing them haphazardly into his bag as he watched the group with un-Tobi-like hawk eyes then moved towards the group.

"What do you think you're doing, you little shit?" One of the boy's asked Hidan. Tobi saw Hidan reply with a cool expression, however whatever he said was not taken well by the boys. "Oh yeah? Think it's alright to hit on my girlfriend do you?"

A look of panic darted across Hidan's face but he quickly recovered and look on blankly. Tobi came within ear shot as he said, "you can do better."

This was directed at the girl. Her eyes flew wide and she suddenly jumped to life, stammering and looking as apologetic as she could get, "He didn't mean that. Come on, he's just a kid, Kushimaru."

"Take him," said the boy. His two comrades took Hidan before he could stop them and they dragged him off through the room towards the back exit. The girl turned to Kushimaru, "You don't need to set an example."

The boy glared. "If I was setting an example, I'd do it where people could see."

He turned and walked away, following his friends out. Tobi's stomach flipped when his eyes fell on the symbol for the Deadly Swordsmen stitched into the back of his school blazer. Hidan was in more trouble than he had bargained for. Tobi looked about frantically, searching for a teacher or anyone who could break up the fight. There was no one. It occurred to Tobi then, that this bar was all too similar to the ones in his home. The ones that the police overlooked because it kept the seedy goings-on contained to a few select spots.

As his head whipped around on his shoulders, he suddenly spotted a flash of blue in the corner of the room. He dashed over to a table where Kisame sat slumped back with a number of other Deadly Swordsmen.

"Kisame!" he said so alarmingly that it made the whole table look up with some reaching into their pockets quickly. Seeing who it was, Kisame passed him a toothy grin.

"Tobi. What's up, kid? You look like you're in trouble."

"Tobi's fine but Hidan needs help!"

It took a moment for Kisame to remember who Hidan was then another moment to figure out why Tobi wanted to help the person who had dropped him on the receiving end of Kisame's fist. "So?"

"Your friends have got Hidan! Help!"

One of the other boys at the table leaned across and whispered to Kisame. He frowned as the boy pulled away then looked to Tobi. "Sorry, kid. He's not my problem. I can't help."

Tobi's heart thumped. "But Kisame-" he cut himself off. Something stirred in Tobi that very rarely raised its head. His hands balled into fists as a glare crept onto his one visible eye. "Kisame's terrible. You don't let other people hurt your friends."

With that, Tobi turned and ran through to bar to the back door. Kisame watched him go for a moment, waiting until he was out of sight, sighed deeply then collected his things and said quietly, "I'm going back to the dorm. See you later."

The others waved him off and he went.

Tobi arrived in the alleyway where deliveries were brought to the bar just in time to see Kushimaru's fist connect with the left side of Hidan's face. There was a crunching sound then Hidan spat red onto the tarmack. He was held in place by the other two Deadly Swordsmen, each gripping an arm out from his sides. His nose was bleeding and he was almost limp where he knelt.

"You kids are too big for your school shoes. Do you know who you're dealing with? You look like a streetwise guy, so why the hell do you think you can go around chatting up my woman? We're the Deadly Swordsmen."

He raised his fist again and Hidan braised himself for the blow. Only Tobi didn't like that and he jumped on Kushimaru. He was tall for his age and managed to wrap both arms around Kushimaru's neck, sending him tumbling sideways in surprise. Desperate to save Hidan, Tobi thrust a hand down on his skull then once more for good measure, holding back nothing. He crumpled to his knees and wobbled. Hidan and the two other boys looked on in shock and horror, then Kushimaru's unconscious body hit the ground.

"Y-you killed him!" accused one of the boys, shaking as he pointed at Tobi. Tobi, seeing the immediate danger disposed of, returned to his usual overdramatic self. His mouth fell open and he shook his head violently.

"Tobi didn't kill him! Tobi didn't! He's not dead!" To try and back up his point, Tobi lifted Kushimaru off the floor by an arm and waved with it. "See?"

"Get off him!" One of the boys yelled, leaving Hidan to charge at Tobi. "Don't mess with us, you little shit!"

Tobi dropped the body and shrieked in terror, running half way down the alley with the boy chasing after him.

This left Hidan with one arm free. The sight of Tobi flooring one of Deadly Swordsmen's strongest members had knocked him out of his dazed stupor, also putting the one remaining boy into a stupor. Leaving no time to waste, Hidan kicked up off the floor and swung his free arm around with as much force as he could put behind it. There was a satisfying crunching sound as it connected with the point where the boy's jaws connected. He stumbled back, releasing Hidan's other arm then the silver haired boy dropped down and swung his leg out, taking the ground from below the gang member as he kicked him in the shins. Gravity did the rest and the boy hit the floor almost head first. He didn't get back up.

Hidan puffed and panted, wiping the sweat from his brow and the blood from his nose and lip though he hissed and cursed to the great lord Jashin as he did. He looked up to see how Tobi was doing only to see the other gang member out cold at the other end of the corridor. Tobi was charging towards him. "Hidan, are you okay!?"

When he came in close, Hidan bopped him on the top of the head just hard enough for him to have to rub it. "Shut the fuck up or you'll get the others out here."

"Oh!" Tobi suddenly realised, "Sorry."

Hidan stepped forward, going dizzy at the last second, forcing Tobi to grab him to keep him upright. He looped his arm around Hidan's shoulders then started walking along the alley.

"Where are we going?" asked Hidan, swaying slightly. Tobi muttered, looking over his shoulder at the door to the bar, "Away from here."

Tobi took Hidan inside the Athletics department building, walking him through until they were at the boy's changing rooms. Once inside, he set Hidan down then ran to the toilet, reappearing with a wad of toilet paper. He tried to dab at his face, but Hidan took the paper and insisted he do it himself. He dabbed for a moment then spat the bloody contents of his mouth onto the floor. Tobi squirmed.

"Where the fuck did you learn to do that?" Hidan said. It sounded like he had stopped himself from saying 'you brilliant bastard' at the end of it.

"What?" Tobi pondered, running back into the toilets for more paper. Hidan gestured back towards the bar.

"You knocked out Kushimaru and Jinpachi like it was nothing!"

Used to being scolded for doing such a thing, Tobi threw his hands over his head and wailed that he was sorry. "Tobi only wanted to save Hidan!"

A vein on Hidan's head twitched. He was already in immense pain; a headache would push him right over the edge. "You idiot, it's not a bad thing!" Tobi shut up. He blinked, looking at Hidan in disbelief.

"It isn't?"

Hidan sighed, accidentally spraying blood out of his nose as he did. "No, it's not. You were… pretty awesome back there, alright?"

Tobi fell quiet; a contented quiet that came from unexpected praise. Bashfully, he traced the ceramic floor with his foot. "Thank you."

Hidan nodded then tipped his head forward over the paper in his cupped hand, tracing his free hand across his face to feel the damage. "The fuckers got me good. They wouldn't even listen that I didn't know she had a boyfriend."

Tobi stopped tracing the floor. "Did you know?"

Hidan smiled a little too cheekily. Then he changed the subject. "So yeah. Where'd you learn to fight like that? Were you born on the streets or something?"

"Almost," Tobi said happily. "The slums of downtown Konoha."

"Fuck… no way. I lived right near there." Hidan seemed genuinely intrigued. "I practically lived there. You could get away with murder."

"Not murder," Tobi mused, "but a lot of other stuff. Tobi had to do a lot of odd jobs to save up for school and lots of people tried to steal from him."

"Well," Hidan said, chuckling slightly, "I guess that explains it. Hey," he said, shuffling over slightly so Tobi could sit down. "Did you ever go to the park off of Copper Street?"

"Tobi did!" He exclaimed, taking the seat.

"I was there all the fucking time! Maybe we saw each other."

Tobi nodded energetically. As Hidan started to reminisce about a man named Old Crazy Dolf and his good-natured but also illegal attempts to give minors alcohol, Tobi smiled, lost in the thoughts that he had finally found a friend that knew where he came from and could relate. Out of all of Tobi's friends, this was the first time he had ever sat beside one of them and talked about… stuff. Just stuff. Pointless stuff that didn't need an outcome. Memories and hopes and future plans.

Tobi zoned back into the room just as Hidan said, "-you couldn't _make_ me stay in that fucking shitty house. I pleaded with my parents to strip those pink, kitten-plate covered walls but they thought it was fucking cute. Sometimes I slept in the pipes in the construction yard."

"Hidan," Tobi interrupted, not that he really wanted to. He knew of the construction yard and could imagine Hidan curled up in a snug pipe with a pink, kitten covered blanket he had stolen from home. "You need the nurse."

Hidan, although momentarily annoyed that he had been interrupted when this was the first chance he had had to talk about his upbringing with anyone at the academy – they were all rich bastards who didn't understand – when he heard Tobi's concerns he smirked. "Don't worry about it."

No, Tobi was certain he needed to worry about it. Hidan needed to worry about it but he was too stubborn to do so, so Tobi had to worry for the both of them. Hidan had almost filled the wad of toilet paper with blood, and it was starting to dry and crust on his face. His eye was just as beautiful as Tobi's had been when Kisame punched him and he wagered he would have to wear the same bandage and eyepatch.

"We can be pirate pals!"

With no context, as so often was the case with Tobi, Hidan could only look at him like he was mad. "The fuck?"

Tobi tapped his covered eye. Hidan made a face as he realised, only he shook his head. "Not if I have anything to fucking say about it. Just give me a hand back to my room, will you?"

"But Hidan needs a doctor!"

Hidan nodded as Tobi wrapped an arm across his shoulders, bringing him to his feet. "I've got one. He's called Kakuzu."

Tobi nearly dropped Hidan. "Kakuzu? Kakuzu's a doctor?"

"Yeah, and a better one than any of the fucktards here who dare to call themselves a medic. He can run stitches round them."

Hidan laughed at a joke he made to himself then they began to walk back towards the dormitories. They both held their breath as they walked by the bar but went unnoticed. Once they were back in the main building and making their way up the stairs to the bedrooms, Hidan told Tobi to wait a moment so that he could catch his breath.

"Hey, Tobi," he said softly, leaning against the window that looked out onto the main street. He looked down at his feet, unable to meet Tobi's gaze. "That band. I guess… it'd be alright if I joined."

Tobi could barely believe what he was hearing but he had heard it alright. His face lit up like a beacon and he almost threw himself on Hidan but used every fibre of his restraint to stop himself. Hidan was hurt. Tobi knew he would make it worse. "Hidan!"

With the awkward bit out of the way, Hidan lifted his head with the usual smug look back in place. "It's about time the world got to hear my fucking voice. I'm amazing."

Fortunately Tobi never had a problem with other people's lack of modesty. He could only nod in agreement. "Tobi loves your voice! The band wouldn't work without you!"

"Too fucking right," said Hidan as he puffed his chest out proudly, only to cough at the strain and keel forward in pain. "And anyway… I guess… it'd be a pain to have to move back home if the academy shut so…" Hidan held his hand out for Tobi to shake. "I'm in."

It was at that very moment that Hidan learnt never to shake Tobi's hand, particularly when he was in a good mood. One dislocated arm later, he had to be hoisted over Tobi's shoulder and marched back to his room because he was howling and in too much pain to walk otherwise.

When Kakuzu opened the door and saw a bloodied and battered Hidan being fireman lifted over his Chemistry partner's shoulder he grumbled something under his breath then swiftly shut it again, bolted the door then sat back down on his bed and continued reading a magazine.

* * *

 _Poor Hidan. He doesn't have any luck._

 _Tune in next time to read about the band's first_ _rehearsal and some sinister revenge plotting. Mwuhaha. Subscribe to this story to keep up to date, and please leave me some reviews so I can see what you think._

 _Peace until next time!  
WhenSarahSmiles_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Hidan was the last person to arrive at Practice Room A3, one of the largest rehearsal rooms the academy's music department owned. It was a nightmare to find – or at least, it had been for Hidan. Only the music students knew that Practice Room A3 was only accessible through Music Classroom 2. Fuck the Music Department. There were no namby-pamby hidden rooms adjoined to normal rooms in the World Studies department. There was one religious studies class and that was all he needed.

Once Hidan had settled in – which in this sense meant attempting to throttle Tobi for giving him no prior directions – the four newly formed bandmates sat facing one another, their guitars, keyboard and drum kit waiting patiently in a corner. Tobi was too giddy to talk, Deidara was more interested in removing lint from his school shirt to bother, Hidan waited with an eyebrow cocked and only Sasori knew what to say.

"I suppose," he started, watching as Tobi twirled around on his chair, his hands clamped giddily between his knees, "We all know why we're here?" Everyone nodded in agreement. "Yes, to save Deidara from failing his Music class." Tobi stopped spinning. His jaw dropped. Sasori dared only for a moment to let Tobi panic then added with a small smirk, "And also to save the school from its impending doom."

Heads nodded again. Tobi carried on even after Deidara started to talk. "If we're honest with each other, we've all got our own reasons for wanting to keep this place open, yeah. So we're going to have to put our social lives on hold for a while to make sure we've got the best chance of pulling through." He eyed Tobi for a second. "That'll be easier for some of us than others."

Surprisingly, this comment did not go over Tobi's head like so many others did.

"Hey!" he said, defiantly jumping up from his seat. "Tobi has lots of friends! You're all Tobi's friends," he missed the horrified glances Hidan and Deidara shared, "And Kakuzu, Zetsu, Kisame, Itachi, Karin-"

Sasori raised a hand. "Okay. It'll be difficult for all of us."

Hidan crossed his arms over his chest and leant back in the chair, his eyebrows furrowed. "This better be fucking worth it."

"Oh what," Deidara replied, "Because you have such a social life you'll be missing out on, yeah?"

"Fuck you." Hidan gave Deidara the finger, but the two quickly grinned and burst into laughter. For all the swearing, Tobi couldn't see the funny side of it. He felt like his ears were about to bleed.

"Tobi thinks the band should be a family-friendly one," he said, talking to Sasori because the others were good at ignoring him. Only, Hidan piped up,

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I agree," Sasori said, purposefully ignoring the betrayed look that darted onto Hidan's face. "The bigger the crowd we can draw in, the better. Speaking of which," he said, now addressing everyone, "what sort of band should we be?"

It was a strange question to Tobi. What he wanted them to be was a band. A band that played brilliant music. There was no need to slap a label on them, he thought. Only the others had a different opinion.

"If you try to make us a cutesy fucking kawaii idol band I will drop this shit like the burning bag of crap it is." Hidan stated. He preferred to be straight-forward. It got rid of the soft bastards who couldn't handle him.

Fortunately one thing was agreed: no one wanted it to be that sort of band. No one was sure what they actually wanted to be, though Tobi looked to Deidara and he looked to Hidan. Sasori tutted. He quickly realised who was going to have to be the decision maker of the group.

"Our safest bet," he said, "is to mirror what's currently in the charts. They're there for a reason. If we study what they're doing we can—"

"No!" Screeched Tobi so loudly that it made Deidara fall off his chair in shock. As Sasori offered him a hand, Tobi said, "Tobi doesn't want that sort of band."

"What sort of band?" asked Sasori.

"The sort of band that only makes music to make money and fame." Tobi wanted to save the school but he also had principles. In these circumstances they were pretty flexible but the one thing he would never do was become a mainstream media robot.

Deidara turned on Tobi. "I thought that's what you wanted, yeah? To bring in the money?"

"Tobi does!" he nodded. "But not like that."

Having been relatively quiet up until now, Hidan raised his hand. His classroom manners made the others fall still. Once they were all looking at him, he said, "I'm with Tobi. You can count me out if you expect me to sing about fuckers in love or whine about heartbreak like every other baby-faced pop group with floppy hair."

Deidara subtly pushed his hair over his shoulders, flattening his fringe down over his eye. "Yeah, I uhh… guess you're right."

Tobi grinned like an idiot. The others noticed. Thank goodness someone was on his side; he might have caved in and created a band he didn't want to be in purely because he couldn't say no to his best friend. Deidara had a bad effect on him sometimes.

Tobi also had a bad effect on Deidara sometimes, but that was more of a nauseous and horrified effect. Hidan nodded. "Too right I'm fucking right. I want to sing something that actually means something."

If Tobi had thought he wouldn't be punched for it, he would have kissed him. Hidan was like a loud, cursing fog horn that got Tobi's voice across. Hidan continued, "I want to sing something with a bit of a backbone. Something…" he paused, "with some mettle."

Silence fell on the room. Tobi's heart skipped a beat. Deidara and Sasori fixed Hidan with a look that would have unnerved any normal human. Hidan looked on with a smug grin.

"…You're an idiot, yeah."

Hidan's mouth fell open, the smugness running off his face like water down a hillside. "Fuck you. You pronounced genius wrong." The silence continued. "Well… yeah. Metal. Or rock. I'm cool. Just none of that flowery shit."

There was a unanimous decision against the flowery shit. There was also a unanimous decision for rock; what type was left for debate. Hidan liked heavy metal, Deidara punk rock, Sasori liked alternative and Tobi, the purest music the world had ever seen, in his opinion at least. The others, either intrigued or just humouring him, asked what he meant by that. He responded with a question.

"Does everyone know who Pein is?"

Folding his arms and rolling his eyes, Hidan responded with as much sarcasm as was necessary for such a stupid question. It was a shame that Tobi only understood things literally, then. The thought of one of his friends not knowing who Pein was made Tobi sway. Badly. He almost toppled to the floor and was only saved by Hidan – albeit through gritted teeth – changing his mind, saying that yes, of course he'd ' _fucking heard of Pein, you fucking idiot. Is it always going to be like this? Fuck sake Deidara, do something about him_.'

Deidara did not attempt to let Hidan down slowly. Plain and simple, almost smugly, he told him that Tobi was a lost cause. It was followed by a long stream of cursing from Hidan. Once the room was quiet again, Sasori offered Tobi the floor. "You were saying?"

"Can we perform one of Pein's songs? Just now? Just for fun? Just to see how we sound?"

It was easy to see that Tobi had his heart set on it. The others looked between themselves then agreed. There were far worse artists he could have chosen, after all. Tobi reached for his school bag, unzipping it to produce a set of music sheets. As he handed them around, Deidara's eyes narrowed.

"You planned this, then, yeah."

"Tobi doesn't know what Deidara's talking about." He said, avoiding eye contact. Hidan let out an approving whistle, reading over the sheet.

"Good fucking choice. Why did you choose—" He stopped. A memory filtered into his mind of when he had sung this exact song in the shower and then Tobi had barged in on him. He scrunched the paper. "You little shit."

Tobi pushed his chair behind Sasori's, feeling the murderous aura building around the silver-haired boy.

"Alright, let's get going." Sasori interrupted, leaving his chair to stand behind the practice room's keyboard. He set the sheet music down and looked to the others expectantly. Deidara nearly flung himself on his guitar, well aware of Sasori's lack of patience. Hidan rolled his eyes, once again debating whether this was the right choice but ultimately picked up his bass guitar and set himself up behind a microphone. Tobi bounced up and down, giddy with anticipation but settled once he was behind the drum kit with his sticks at the ready.

They set up then Sasori counted them in. Hidan and Tobi came in at once. It was a song they all knew. Deidara waited for his turn and Sasori joined on the chorus. Over the sound of his drums, Tobi could hear them. He could see the concentration on their faces as real musicians; not just some garage-weekend-band. They took it seriously and the music was almost exact to Pein's song, maybe with one or two instruments missing.

Sasori and Deidara looked at one another and smiled. Deidara nudged his head towards Tobi and Sasori had to concede about his drumming ability. Sasori then nodded towards Hidan who was simultaneously singing and playing bass. He was the real surprise. Sasori only knew him as one of the academy's fight-pickers and a slacker who skipped classes. He hadn't made it to the academy with money but until now Sasori had found it hard to believe Hidan had been worthy of his scholarship. He was glad he had decided to play keyboard instead of sing. For a while he had been sceptical about Tobi's plan but… they really had a chance.

Once the song was over, Hidan keeled forward a little to catch his breath and the others started to speak immediately.

"That, yeah."

"That?" Sasori questioned. Deidara grinned. It was a sight Tobi was unused to but he loved it. "That's our sound. That was amazing." He even turned to Tobi, his vision clouded with possibilities, "I don't know how you did it but that was a perfect pick."

Tobi puffed his chest out. "Thank you."

With his breath caught, Hidan chimed in. "Okay so it's clear we're going to kick arse with this but," his face faltered a bit. "It'll be hard to make money if we're doing covers. What with big-shot fucking fat-cats and their copyrights. Have any of you guys written anything original?"

Tobi looked to Deidara who knew exactly what he was getting at as soon as Tobi gave the slightest hint of smugness. "Don't say it or I'll put you through the door, yeah."

"What?" Sasori and Hidan managed to say in unison, but Tobi was already rummaging through his bag. Deidara directed his words at Sasori.

"You wrote that song for our duet project, yeah. Well—"

"—Well Deidara wanted to throw it away but Tobi wouldn't let him because Tobi knew it would be useful so Tobi kept it and he knows the words off by heart and the tune and Deidara nearly killed Tobi trying to destroy it and Tobi told him so." Interrupted Tobi with the smuggest of looks.

Sasori opened his mouth but shut it and frowned. Deidara raised his hands defensively, hardly expecting his roommate to take it badly. "I mean, come on man, yeah. It was—"

"Sshhh." Sasori's expression was stern. Deidara's mouth fell open. Hidan laughed it off.

"Fuck off with your lovers' spat and let's play some—"

"Sshh!"

This shocked Hidan so much that he pressed his hand to his heart before the rage quickly built behind his eyes. "Tell me to shush one more time, I fucking dare you."

Sasori rolled his eyes, rising from his seat. Hidan took it as a challenge and jumped up but Sasori ignored him and walked towards the door.

"You can talk the talk but can't walk the walk, fucker." Hidan growled. Sasori promptly ignored him. He grabbed the door handle and quickly lurched it open. There was a scuffle as the first few girls in a horde fell through the door, yelping.

"Oh shit!" Hidan said eagerly, bounding over to pose by the doorway as Tobi and Deidara stood up in surprise. Sasori asked, offering his hand to the girls on the floor. "Can we help you?"

Hidan, refusing to be outshined by the redhead's smooth actions, knocked Sasori's hand away with his own. The girls took a hand each and rose up, looking whole-heartedly embarrassed. "Thank you…"

"What exactly were you doing, listening in on us?" Sasori continued, addressing the front girls, but looking over their heads and the small cluster of maybe seven or eight of them in total. Some of the girls stammered and others full on bolted across the classroom and out into the corridor.

"Oh, you see. Umm. Well… it's just…" None of them could retain eye-contact with Sasori and Hidan was looking at them too eagerly to even meet his gaze. Then Tobi bounded over, knocking into Hidan, throwing his arms around his neck in a hug. He addressed the girls with a giant grin.

"Did you like our song?"

Hidan managed to duck out of the hug and was about to strangle him when the girls said in a unanimous voice, "yes."

It took all four boys aback. This confession seemed to clear the air and the girls began to talk at once, "Where do you guys perform?"

"How much are tickets?"

"How long have you been together?"

Their enthusiasm struck even Tobi into speechlessness. Even Hidan, who claimed to be a ladies' man, seemed awkward in the face of so many girls wanting to know so much about them. Sasori kept his cool demeanour, passing them a faked but flattering smile,

"Actually this was our first rehearsal but we're pleased to know you like us. However, if you don't mind me asking would you leave us to practice now?" They could hardly say no to a face that made them turn so gooey inside, even if they did not want to leave. They turned to go, but Sasori added, "Also… I must ask. How did you hear us? This is a soundproofed room."

The girls looked amongst themselves then one pointed into the room. The boys turned to see the small open window in the top of the wall. Sasori pursed his lips then gave a soft "Ah."

Once the girls were gone, Sasori closed the door and turned to Deidara. He was trying to make eye-contact with Tobi. If that wasn't suspicious he didn't know what was. "Deidara?"

Deidara looked at him, his expression clueless.

"Yes…?" Sasori cleared his throat and gestured to the window. Deidara gave Sasori enough credit and dropped his façade. "Fine, fine. Yeah. So I opened the window before. It was hot in here! And anyway, what the problem? Making fans is what we're meant to do!"

Admittedly, Tobi could not see the problem either. But Sasori shook his head. "Think. We have one shot at this. And there are plenty of students here looking to make it big by any means possible which includes plagiarism. _Especially_ if we start writing and practicing originals. We just need to be a bit more careful, okay?"

The boys nodded in agreement. Deidara jumped onto one of the tables lining the room and shut the window, locking the music in with them.

"Right," he said, hopping down. "Hidan, Sasori's song goes like this, yeah."

oOo

By the end of the session, the four boys were content with their practice and decided they could call it a day. Hidan disappeared first, claiming he needed to go and pray, leaving Tobi, Deidara and Sasori to pack away. Tobi hummed merrily, packing his sheet music and sticks into his bag, unaware that Sasori was nudging Deidara meaningfully behind him. Exchanging looks that said a thousand words in a way only best friends could, Deidara protested that he did not want to spend any more time with Tobi than he had to.

Sasori nudged him in the ribs. Hard. Deidara gasped but had to hold it for fear of drawing Tobi's attention. His expression screamed, ' _I am not inviting him to dinner and you can't make me.'_

Sasori shrugged. If he was going to be difficult.

"Tobi," he began, only Deidara flung his hand over Sasori's mouth. Sasori stamped on his foot. Deidara gasped again and threw his hand back to cover his mouth. "Do you want to come to dinner with us?"

Deidara cursed Sasori to the deepest pits of hell but the damage was done. Tobi span on his heel, his eyes lit up like stars. "Tobi does. _Tobi does!"_

"Wonderful." Sasori said with a smile. "Grab your stuff and let's go to-"

"—the canteen, yeah. I fancy something cooked by someone else."

Sasori raised an eyebrow at his partner, wondering why their room wasn't good enough but he caught the look of desperation. Deidara was saying ' _if he sets foot in my room once he'll do it again and again and I'll never be free._ '

Sasori hid his chuckle with a cough.

The canteen was busy when the three entered. It made Deidara thankful; he could hardly hear Tobi's persistent singing under the cloak of the other students' conversations. Yet, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fully block him out.

They picked a table together, a quiet spot over by the window, then glanced over the menus. It was a far cry from the canteens Tobi had gone to at his infant school. There were no queues by the hatch with lunch-trays and kids shoving one another to get to the turkey twizzlers. No long communal tables with a dozen seats either side as dinner-ladies patrolled the aisles. Tobi checked the menu. The prices alone were a bit steep to swallow.

After a waiter had taken their orders – Tobi settling on a side order of fries and cheese – Sasori cleared his throat to warn Tobi he had something to discuss. Deidara, who had been braiding his fringe out of boredom and fear that if he didn't have something to do Tobi would talk to him, stared at his roommate. It was a look of fear. Whatever he was about to say, he had not run it by him first. Which meant Deidara could not warn Sasori that it was a terrible thing to suggest to Tobi because they would never hear the end of it.

"Have you thought about sponsors yet?"

Tobi cocked his head sideways, pondering the question. Deidara died a little inside. Half the students at the academy came from successful business families. And Sasori was about to set Tobi loose on them, he could tell. So many enemies; they were going to make so, so many enemies.

"If we're really going to make this work, we'll need to hunt down connections and sponsors. We can't rely on the Headmaster. He has the academy to run and won't be able to pour money into us to get us going."

"What about your parents?" Tobi chirped enthusiastically. A cold aura fell over the pair of roommates. They looked at one another, then at Tobi. That was a no, then. Whoever their parents were, Tobi hoped never to meet them. Not if they could make Deidara and Sasori pull expressions like that.

There was little time for more discussion before their food arrived. Tobi could only stare jealously at the others' meals as he munched on fries. Yes, they needed to get the band up and running as soon as possible. They were going to bring in the money, save the school and even have enough spare for Tobi to eat as lavishly as his friends. Deidara stabbed him in the hand with a fork when he tried to steal a chicken wing.

With the meal over, Tobi said a sad farewell to the others and returned to his room. As seemed to be the ever-growing case, when he walked inside he felt the urge to walk back out again. A black-and-white Zetsu was sprawled on the carpet and a blue Kisame was sprawled on his – Tobi's – bed, hugging a crate of beer under one arm.

"Tobi!" Zetsu said coherently. Ah, they had only just started drinking then. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you in a while."

Tobi closed the door behind him and made his way to the bed, hoping that Kisame would vacate eventually, and when he didn't, sat on Zetsu's bed instead.

"Tobi's been at band practice!"

Zetsu cocked an eyebrow. "What, really? You're in a band… with other people?"

Tobi nodded, crossing his legs with his chin stuck up in pride. He retold the day's events, leaving both Zetsu and Kisame shocked that yes, in fact, he actually had bandmates and people actually liked how they sounded, then when he got to the part about connections and sponsors, he had a sudden eureka moment.

"Shinju can sponsor Tobi's band!"

Zetsu sat up and opened his mouth to say something, but Kisame got there first. "I wouldn't, kid. The Deadly Swordsmen hate you enough as it is. You did some real damage on Jinpachi, Kushimaru and Mangetsu the other day. Being sponsored by the rival gang will rock the boat way too much. For you guys and Shinju."

Zetsu had to agree, throwing Tobi an apologetic look. "He's right. We're barely holding the peace as it is. Sorry, but you're on your own on that one."

It hurt Tobi for a moment that his friends wouldn't help him, but he understood. After the fight the other day, he knew how terrifying the Deadly Swordsmen really were. No doubt if it came to it, Zetsu and Kisame would have to fight each other for real. He wanted to avoid that at all costs.

Feeling crestfallen, Tobi lay back, resting his arms behind his head, staring up at the bike poster hovering over Zetsu's bed. One corner had become unstuck, dangling mid-air. Maybe in a few days it was going to fall down. Probably in the middle of the night. Zetsu would scream. Tobi would scream. Then they were curl up together in Tobi's bed, reassuring each other that everything was going to be okay. At least, that's how Tobi saw it going in his head, anyway.

Suddenly, Kisame slammed his can down on Tobi's bed, froth and alcohol leaping from it onto the duvet. Zetsu looked over, only happy that he had ruined Tobi's bed this time and not his own, and Tobi sat up. Kisame was grinning, and not from drinking too much. He looked at the brunette, his wide grin more optimistic than he had seen it in a while. He said,

"Well, I've been feeling a little bad for that," he gestured to Tobi's eyepatch. "And I guess for not helping you out when Hidan got dragged off. I was thinking… maybe I could chat to Itachi."

Itachi. Tobi was stunned. Kisame and Itachi were roommates, of course, but the last time Tobi had gone to see him it had gone terribly. And since then, Tobi had floored him during athletics. True, Itachi had told Tobi to make a long-term plan but he was still sceptical that Mr. Uchiha would hand over any amount of money. Still, if anyone had a shot at it, it was probably Kisame.

"Would Kisame really do that for Tobi?"

Kisame nodded, taking a swig from his can. "Sure. I can't promise anything but call it repaying the debt. He'll have way more contacts than the Headmaster anyway so if worst comes to worst, he could give me a few people to pass onto you."

Zetsu held his own can in the air. "I'll drink to that."

The pair laughed and downed their drinks. It only got worse from there, alcohol ending up the walls, on the window, on the pillows, but Tobi didn't mind. For some reason, Tobi's schemes always ended up pointing back to Itachi Uchiha. He seemed to be a key figure in the plan. Tobi was sure they were meant to meet.

The next day, Tobi told his bandmates of Kisame's heroism but on hearing the news, Sasori insisted on going with him to talk to Kisame. From what he had seen of the blue-skinned boy, he did not have a way with words and would probably butcher their chances. Tobi had then announced that he would join them. At which point Sasori made a very swift comment that he would not be needed and should go have fun instead.

This ended with Sasori and Kisame visiting Itachi, and Tobi disappearing to the bowling alley to attempt his five-strike streak again. He wanted to see those victory balloons. Sasori spoke to Kisame briefly in the canteen before the pair decided it was best to catch Itachi off-guard. Kisame wagered right about now, he would be heading back to his room from the gym to get a shower.

They went back to the room and lo, when Kisame opened the door they could hear the sound of running water from the en-suite. He let Sasori in then lounged on the bed, waiting for his roommate to finish excessively shampooing his hair and get out.

Sasori looked around. He could certainly tell which side of the room belonged to which roommate. One was neat, minimal and organised. The other was an explosion of worn clothes and alcohol. The worst part was Kisame didn't seem to care in the slightest that other people could see his mess. Sasori wondered if Itachi minded. He seemed a rather proud sort of boy. If Deidara ever decided he wanted to make such a mess, he would definitely find the mess and himself out the window. Sasori would have no regrets.

Surveying the mess and then the refreshingly clean half of the room, Sasori spotted something dangling over the wardrobe door.

"Kisame," he pondered, staring at it more intently when he was certain he knew what it was, "which one of you plays the guitar?"

Kisame glanced at what had caught Sasori's attention – a guitar strap – and chuckled. "Do you think my beefy fingers could play a tune on a guitar?"

It gave him a revelation. Up until now, he had had little sense that the talk would go well. But now he had a better plan.

Eventually the water shut off and Itachi stepped from the bathroom in a towel around his middle and a towel around his hair. He flinched momentarily upon seeing that he was not alone and that at least one of the occupants was a relative stranger, but if there were any further emotions bubbling in him, Sasori could not spot them. Kisame went straight to it,

"Hey 'tach. How was the gym?"

Itachi glided to his wardrobe and picked out a pair of comfy sweat pants and a black vest top with his family crest on it then turned to Kisame. "What do you want?"

Sasori raised an eyebrow. Itachi was sharp. For a moment their eyes connected, then Itachi looked back to Kisame. The blue skinned boy chuckled, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "Just call it doing a guy a favour."

Itachi returned to the bathroom to get changed. He reappeared fully clothed but his hair still wrapped in a towel.

"It takes a lot to get you to do that. So, I'll assume it's important." He addressed Sasori. "Care to explain?"

Fortunately for both of them, Itachi and Sasori liked to get straight to the point. Neither liked to have their time wasted as they were both busy people.

"I believe you've met the transfer student, Tobi?" Itachi nodded, taking a seat at his desk. "He's made a plan to pull our school out of debt. He, along with myself and two others, have made a band. If we're to make it work we'll need promotion, proper recording facilities, concerts and so on." Sasori looked Itachi meaningfully in the eye. "It will all cost."

Itachi sighed, resting his chin on his hands. "This again."

Sasori glanced at Kisame, who had failed to mention that Tobi had already been to see Itachi before. It was only going to make this more difficult. Kisame smiled a sharp, apologetic smile. Only Itachi continued,

"I'll admit this is a better plan than last time. At least he's thought about a sustainable source of income. But," he picked up a pen, jotting down figures as he calculated costs, "Once again, it will be a hefty investment with no guarantee of turning a profit. I have many people in the business and entertainment worlds but I can't believe they will be interested in you."

Sasori nodded. Itachi had taken the bait.

"They will be interested, then, if you're a big part of it?"

Itachi cocked an eyebrow, pausing his writing. He sat up, put the pen down and cast his gaze onto Sasori. Then Kisame, who recoiled a little.

"How so do you mean?" Sasori did not speak. He gave Itachi the credit to figure it out himself. "My bass guitar is a pastime and nothing more."

"But your contacts trust you. They wouldn't make a second guess if it was investing in your personal project."

Itachi looked to Kisame again, who pretended to find something outside the window all too interesting. Sasori did his best to hold down his smirk. Itachi was renowned as level headed, mysterious and strong willed. But he would bet Itachi rarely came up against someone who could outwit him. And Kisame had let him straight through the door. Itachi closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and said,

"But why would I decide to help you out? I do not gain anything from it as I don't particularly care to be in a band."

Itachi opened his eyes again. Sasori had trapped him. It was hook, line and sinker. Prior to the meeting, Sasori had buckled down in the library and done his research into how influential the Uchiha name was for the sake of discovering if the meeting would be worth it. Alongside finding that, yes, absolutely it would be worth it, he had found one other, very important fact.

Sasori uttered the sentence that sealed the deal.

"If the academy closes you'll have to move to Konoha's public school, which your little brother attends."

The band had its fifth member.

* * *

 _Yes, it's been a while but this story is back in business. Thanks to a review that made me kick my butt into gear. Bring on the Tobi-based madness!_


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